Thursday, June 7, 2007

The Usual Anxiety Dream

I had an anxiety dream this morning - when I woke up I was faced with having to experience the same exact events that I had been dreaming about- though this time for real. I was hopeful that the events would not transpire as disasterously the second time around.

It was an anxiety dream about teaching and driving to school today (forgetting the right time, not having a class planned, not being prepared, overanxious students... etc). The funniest thing about the whole thing and the only reason why I mention it here is because I in my dream I was a math teacher, and arriving to the class I knew absolutely nothing about the course material. I had to "fake" it. And much of my anxiety was also due to the fact that I felt that I was extremely mis-matched to my job. I kept thinking - "who would have hired me to teach math? are they that desperate for teachers?"

I certainly know the origin of this dream. Last night I received two emails from very responsible students already preparing for their final. They had lists of artworks and wanted me to double check them. Now, Italian Baroque painting is not my forte - and have fallen behind with my studies of the course material because I had been caught up grading 70 papers. In short, the list of paintings is not something in my vocabulary - yet, and it might as well have been a complicated math problem.

Luckily, I don't have any complicated math problems to solve on the spot - I have plenty of time to prepare myself over the weekend and get up to speed. And happily, I arrived to school this morning 15 minutes early. I guess anxiety dreams have their purpose, but sometimes I wish that they would just leave me alone!

No comments: