Academic Wasteland

I'm back this Fall...

2009-08-24T13:02:00.000-07:00

Academic Wasteland has been on hiatus. Thank you to all for your notes of encouragement while I have been finishing my dissertation: Action Architecture: Lawrence Halprin's Experiments in Landscape Design, Urbanism, and the Creative Process. This fall I'm back with a new house, new job, new baby on the way, and a finished dissertation.

More to come SEPTEMBER 2009.

Book Review

2008-09-15T12:34:00.001-07:00

I don't have much time to post to my blog these days. Here is a review that I just finished working on.
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Architecture or Techno-utopia: Politics After Modernism
Felicity D. Scott
MIT Press, hardcover $29.95

Living Archive 7: Ant Farm
Allegorical Time Warp: The Media Fallout of July 21, 1969
Felicity D. Scott, author and editor
Actar Publishing, paperback $ 54.95

Architecture or Techno-utopia and Living Archive 7: Ant Farm are the first two books published by architecture historian and Columbia Graduate School of Architecture, Planning and Preservation Professor Felicity D. Scott. Released within sixth months of one another, the texts provide students and scholars of art, architecture, urban studies, and American studies with a comprehensive overview of Scott’s theoretical and historical project on the subject of postwar American experimental architecture.

The loose historical time frame for Architecture or Tecno-utopia is the transition between architectural late modernism and postmodernism. And more specifically defined, Scott takes up as her subject the “experimental endgames” of Modernist architecture, which she argues require a more complex and nuanced consideration than traditional architecture history narratives. Scott’s insightful theoretical analysis of these self-proclaimed architectural “drop-outs”—artist collectives such as Archigram, Drop City, and Ant Farm—enriches the discourse surrounding the transition between architectural modernism and postmodernism, and provides the hopeful with a framework for reading and sussing out the historical, aesthetic, and political possibilities of a critical and radical architectural practice.

Borrowing the rhetorical “or” in the title from the well-known Le Corbusier phrase, “Architecture or Revolution,” Scott posits that the opposition set up by the French modernist is a simplistic reflection on the role/obligation/program of architecture. 1 Setting up the text to “undermine” such oppositions, Scott explains her approach as one that aims “to identify aesthetic, theoretical, and political topoi, no matter how buried by the victors of history, or how incidental they might seem” (12). Her subject then becomes the alternative— read “unsuccessful”—practitioners of an experimental architecture. These countercultural artists of the 1960s and 1970s, Scott argues, are similarly propelled by new technologies, the media culture of the televisual space age, and a growing environmental and survivalist do-it-yourself mentality. Additionally, they offer an alternative to mainstream practice with such activities as “dome-building and intermedia installations that pushed the discipline to its limits.” Scott introduces her project as a new trajectory that, “[traces] a different kind of borderline” (12), than those presented by institutions and traditional disciplines. By seeking inroads into the polemical battles of major art historians and institutions, Scott provides an alternative, destablilizing, genealogy of utopian practices. And with what is probably the most nuanced component of her argument, one need recognize that these artistic attempts shouldn’t be rejected for their wide-eyed idealism, but rather, she argues that their potential value and success is that they work to critically put into question the historical, institutional, and theoretical status quo. Arguably, this kind of historical project activates a progressive practice of what Henri Lefebvre referred to as experimental utopianism.2

The first two chapters of the book provide the historical context for the debates surrounding the modernist –postmodernist divide. Beginning with art critic Meyer Schapiro’s review of the 1932 International Style show at MoMA, and then moving to discuss the Grays versus Whites debate and the role of critics such as Manfredo Tafuri and Colin Rowe, Scott reveals the strong foundational myths of modernism and their institutional support. According to Scott, keeping architectural discourse tied up in debates regarding the resemantization of architecture (the emergence of postmodernism) decidedly placed an institutional barrier on the practices of radical political artists such as the UK’s Archigram. Scott argues that after the mythologized “end” of modern architecture and its failed politics the work of experimental architects were perceived as “committed to the authenticity of the modern movement’s social and political agenda in the face of its actual collapse,” therefore doomed to failure (45). What Scott provides in these first two chapters is a critical look at modernism’s historical and theoretical context as it stood from an institutional standpoint in its final days. Of these experimental practices she suggests: first, that they insisted on devising political projects for architecture, “no matter how conceptually cast or how impossibly imbricated within the system they remained.” And secondly, that they stood as counterexamples both to the gloom and disenchantment of Tafuri and to the desired detachment of form from politics sought by Rowe (51).

From here Scott presents a perspective from which to consider the rest of the book (and subsequently Living Archive 7: Ant Farm) whereby she proposes that “if we shift our attention, even just slightly, we can trace practices and discourses that pursued other forms of engagement with new social movements, new technologies, and new theoretical paradigms, as well as with the period’s emergent economic, administrative, and military logics” (56). The following three chapters—When Systems Fail, Designing Environment, Italian Design and the New Political Landscape— explore MoMA’s institutional role in the promotion of late modernist discourse and the integration of experimental or “visionary” architecture into sponsored museum activities—exhibitions, symposia, lectures— and publications. Important figures examined in these chapters are curators Arthur Drexler and Emilio Ambasz, the latter whom introduces Italian Design to the American museum-scape.

In Revolutionaries and Dropouts, Acid Visions, and Shouting Apocalypse, Scott moves the discussion away from institutions toward a “murkier zone” where off-the-grid communes and hippies were utilizing the momentum of the counterculture and its tactics (i.e. sit-ins, experimental drug use, squatting, and anti-authoritarian protests) toward attempts at radical politics. Drop City and Ant Farm figure centrally in Scott’s interrogation of aesthetic practices that “managed to negotiate, or at least politically engage, new modalities of power” (175). She pits these artists against the “revolutionary” vernacular architecture practice promoted by Denise Scott Brown and Robert Venturi (arguing that they effectively avoid political questions while supporting a middle class aesthetic), as well as the technocracy of Buckminster Fuller, and the space exploration of NASA. Besides sharing the common theme of “dropping out,” Drop City and Ant Farm explore methods of survival deemed necessary in the “realms of warfare, the media, and ecology, as well as under the rule of political management” (244). Drop City published the Dome Cookbook to promote a do-it-yourself instant city, while Ant Farm, taking up inflateables as their shelter of choice, followed with the Inflatocookbook. Scott’s careful archaeology here raises important questions about the efficacy of such radical aesthetic projects through which a discipline like architecture has the “ability to forge an ongoing political… practice” (345).

Scott’s careful historicization and theorization of Ant Farm’s work in the late 60s and early 70s in Techno-utopia prepares those readers who wish to explore the group more thoroughly in the text Living Archive 7: Ant Farm. Before all else, this book is a beautiful object: a sleek and shiny jacket, thick pages bound together with never before published color reproductions of Ant Farm material. Included in the volume is not only Scott’s archival research narrated in Allegorical Time Warp: The Media Fallout of July 21, 1969, but also the Ant Farm Timeline by Ant Farmers Chip Lord, Doug Michels, and Curtis Schreier. The volume also includes a dossier of archival materiel, the Truckstop Network Dossier, edited by Scott and an introduction to the Ant Farm Timeline, Timeline of the Timeline by Chip Lord. This volume is brimming with important historical and archival material. Published in correlation with the exhibition Ant Farm: Radical Hardware in the Arthur Ross Gallery in Buell Hall at Columbia University in Spring 2008, the book directs its focus toward Ant Farm’s early years (1969-71) and draws from a number of “drawings, collages, typescripts, manifestoes, publications, sketchbooks, 35mm slides, photographic prints, films, videos, and ephemera” most of which had been kept safe for 28 years in Chip Lord’s studio in San Francisco.3 Scott’s “reanimation” of the material is delicately balanced amongst the visual material and Ant Farm’s own self-narration of their early work, all of which comes together in a retelling through the context of contemporary events, such as the moon landing.

The work of such radical and experimental artists as Ant Farm and Drop City begs the question of the value of such radical projects both historically and in the present moment. While Scott cautions her reader that it would be a mistake to recuperate the work of these artists for contemporary architectural practice and as contemporary figures (she argues that they belong to a different historical moment), one can (and, arguably, Scott does) take the lessons learned from such groups in order to reconsider the possibility of politics within rcontemporary architecture practice. This consideration is what Scott addresses in the last chapter of Techno-utopia, Involuntary Prisoners of Architecture. It is here that she argues that an opportunity was greatly missed at the hands of the Lower Manhattan Development Corporation competition for the World Trade Center site. She compares entries to the competition from such internationally renowned architects as Norman Foster, Peter Eisenman, Richard Meier, Gwathmey Siegel, and Steven Holl to current contemporary work such as Diller + Scofidio’s Blur Building, pavilion for the Swiss Expo, 2003. The proposals submitted to the LMDC competition sought to recuperate the deterritorialized condition of Lower Manhattan through efforts to “make architectural form legible again” (268). Scott theorizes this as a return to a New Monumentality or as the reinstallation of megastructures—an attempt to restabilize a disrupted city propelled ultimately in its resurrection by the forces of capitalism. Instead Scott proposes a practice of architecture that “forges conceptual and critical strategies” (275) and “[offers] precise… tools through which to engage contemporary social, political and economic parameters.” She continues, “The ability to question architecture’s relation to the semiotic and institutional structures of capitalism, to its official codes and their modes of subjectification, is the ability to destabilize those very codes, to make languages shake” (280). Scott proposes the possibility of a critical practice that would take advantage of architecture’s potential for encountering and negotiating political questions. She is here suggesting an understanding of politics that not only “refers to questions of power, of the state and its policies” but also one that relates to the organization of space and through the organization of time (280).

Through her complex readings of historical and aesthetic projects Scott proves that a radical politics can exist even beyond the “failed” counter-cultural practices of 1960s and 70s. Furthermore, her project reminds us of the necessity of an ethico-political project in architecture. Through the continued interaction of practice, theory, criticism and public discourse, resistance to the military-corporate-industrial complex can thrive. Both Architecture or Techno-utopia and Living Archive 7: Ant Farm, breathe life into a contemporary architecture practice that faces the daily challenge of resisting the status quo and experimenting with utopian dreams.

1 Le Corbusier, Towards a New Architecture, trans. Frederick Etchells (London: Architectural Press, 1946), 269. Scott’s explanation of her adaptation of the title can be found in Architecture or Techno-utopia, 18.
2 Henri Lefebvre, “Right to the City,” Writings on Cities, ed. and trans. Eleonore Kofman and Elizabeth Lebas. (Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishing) 149. On experimental utopia Lefebvre writes, “Utopia is to be considered experimentally by studying its implications and consequences on the ground… What are and what would be the most successful places? How can they be discovered? According to what criteria? What are the times and rhythms of daily life which are inscribed and prescribed in these ‘successful’ spaces favourable to happiness?”
3 Now housed at the Berkeley Art Museum and the Pacific Film Archive.

I detect a soft breeze...

2008-08-05T16:56:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here in my living room trying to feel a breeze. It isn't easy working in the heat. It especially isn't easy working in stale air, and so I am waiting for a breeze that will give me the support I need to write.

My summers are never as relaxing as I had hoped for, and this one is no exception. I have many deadlines approaching now so my stress level is slowly rising. On top of teaching an intense summer class on the City & Utopia, I have had to deal with a major advisorial crisis. Now that the crisis is past (at least for the moment), I need to get my shit together for my upcoming three-chapter deadline on Sept. 1. Yes, I said it- three-chapter deadline. Not a Chapter 3 deadline. Rather, I have created for myself a deadline for my first three chapters, and I will be making this deadline without question. The only unsolved denominator is whether I'll have slept at all the week beforehand.

My class is going incredibly well. I think it may turn out to be the best class that I have taught as of yet. I have 8 really fantastic students. And all of the dynamics seem to be working. We sit in a circle and have fun, easy-going, yet intelligent discussions about the material. And the best thing is that they have all read it and are prepared for class! It is absolutely fabulous. I am very impressed with them, and I'm trying to make a mental note of all the things that are working.

I'm sorry for the hiatus, but is is hard to type unless there is a breeze, and its been hot here for the past three weeks. Let's hope for a breezy few weeks.

In Memorium

2008-07-18T11:44:00.000-07:00

This week a tragedy struck UCI. Former Prof. Lindon Barrett was found murdered in his home (he had recently made the move to UCR). This was very shocking to everyone who knew him (I knew him only marginally by seeing him at talks and such on campus). But clearly, there are a lot of people I think who are still digesting the shock of having such a talented and brilliant individual extinguished so prematurely (he was only 46.) You can see from the tributes to him popping up on the web that he had a profound effect on many many young scholars.


> http://forlindonbarrett.blogspot.com/

Der Zeit ihre Kunst, der Kunst ihre Freiheit

2008-07-10T14:08:00.001-07:00

I recently ran into a past student of mine at a local coffee shop. We chatted for quite awhile and she mentioned to me that there was something in the class that she learned about that really stuck with her. We studied a number of different art nouveau movements in Europe including the Vienna Secession. Pictured above is the the dome of the Secession building by Joseph Olbrich. It was a center for a movement of artists looking to find a new art for their time. It included architects such as Otto Wagner, Josef Hoffman and the artist Gustav Klimt. In class we talked about the inscription on the base of the dome "Der Zeit ihre Kunst, der Kunst ihre Freiheit ." It translates to "To the age its art, to art its freedom." It resonated with her deeply enough that she got the phrase tattooed on her body (don't ask me where, I didn't see it). Pretty cool though, huh?

Back from Hiatus

2008-07-08T12:32:00.001-07:00

I've been on hiatus from blogging. There have been many things occupying my brain and my time that I have not had the time or the desire to blog. However, many interesting things have been happening. I am working on many different projects right now.

First, I am still working through the urban ecology chapter on Halprin though I did take a break to some archival research. The archivist of the Environmental Design archives in Berkeley introduced me to some history on the school and a group of designers called Telesis that formed in the 1940s in the Bay Area to conduct "environmental research." The documents I looked through are helping me to form the narrative of my story about Halprin's philosophy on urban ecology. I was also able to locate two articles written by Halprin published in the student journals at CED, Space and Landmark.

I also visited Anna Halprin's archive at the San Francisco Performance and Design Museum and Library. I found more correspondence from John Cage, Allan Kaprow, Merce Cunningham, and La Monte Young - to help support my "Experiments in Environment" chapter. I also watched an hour long KQED documentary called Inner Landscapes on the Halprins.

I am currently editing a 44 page article for the journal Octopus - which is very detailed and time consuming work.

And.... I start my summer class next week! Ach!! No more free time.

And, working on a Book Review of FS's books also for Octopus.

I will post some of my writing soon. (I promise).

In the office

2008-06-23T12:54:00.000-07:00

After loafing my way through San Diego coffee houses for the last two weeks I find myself back in my windowless basement adjunct office. And, I'm happy to be here. I love the campus during the summer, it is quiet, cool, and there are no lines for ordering coffee! There is also the convenience of having a library right around the corner so that when I'm working and come upon a book I'd like to consult I can simply go and pick it up right away - no waiting!

So I decided to camp out here this week and see how my work progresses. Next week I'll be going to SF to do some research at the San Francisco Performing Arts Library and the Library at the School of Environmental Design at UC Berkeley. Until then I'm working on elaborating on the ideas that I sent to FS.

The Laze of Summer

2008-06-19T12:20:00.000-07:00

So the mercury is climbing in good ol' San Diego and even though the meteorologists claim that it is a comfortable 83 degrees Fahrenheit - I find that hard to believe. The heat is definitely bearable (I don't want it to seem like I am complaining) but it does make working a challenge. The heat puts my body in conservation mode and even my brain activity is rationed in order to keep me cool and my overall mood agreeable.

So about a week ago (when I wrote my last post about my current chapter work) I also wrote an email to Felicity S. to ask her opinion about the ideas I've been tossing around. Since I am working diligently through her book for a book review to be published in December I have also become inspired to incorporate her ideas into my own work on Halprin and Ecology. So she has been in London and finally was able to respond to my email and she loved them!! I'm so excited. I was super nervous about this because there was always the danger that I was misinterpreting her work and/or expanding on her ideas in a way that she did not deem appropriate.

My summer laze needs to wear off quick because the work is starting to pile on and the deadlines are accumulating. I will be teaching a 6-week summer course on the City and Utopia, writing a book review (on two books), editing an article for a grad journal, preparing an abstract for CAA conference, and finishing up two chapters - all by Sept. 10. Lots of good stuff though.

however, first one musts focus on George Michael in Vegas this weekend. Yipeee!

Architecture or Eco-utopia?

2008-06-13T14:02:00.000-07:00

I am drinking way more coffee than usual today. I need to caffeinate myself beyond normal limits because today is the day that I am finalizing the thesis on Chapter I.2. I had been waiting for the lightening bolt to hit and I think I finally have it. For the past week or two (as you know from my other posts) I have been delving into Halprin's ecological side. This is a big part of my overall argument because I consider Halprin's ecological position on landscape architecture and design as part of his "west coast" affinity. Yesterday I had written out in my introduction to Chapter 1.2 that I will be discussing Halprin's ecological method and those of other designers he is in conversation with during the 60s, all the while keeping a close eye on the development of the more popular and vocal environmental movement.
In addition, considering environmentalism in conversation with changing theories of modern architecture is crucial because ideas of regional design and even experimental ecological design were completely "poo-pooed" (like my strong academic vocabulary? ) for the High Modernists. Considering anything beyond man's dominance over nature and his ability to form structures of the most formal aestheticism (ala early Le Corbusier) was considered pedestrian and quasi-medieval. Okay, we are getting to my point don't worry.
My advisor Felicity D. Scott recently published a brilliant (yes I'm biased, but yes, it's brilliant) book called Architecture or Techno-utopia which provides a new historical perspective on the discussion of late modernism and the beginnings of what is commonly known as postmodern architecture. In it she criticizes the staid debate of the "Grays" versus the "Whites." The "whites" are the "high modernists" and the "grays" the postmodernists looking to expand modern architecture to re-include signs/symbols/historical styles...etc. She explains that keeping this dichotomy undermines other trajectories of architecture history and other work by architects not included in this debate. Her book looks closely at experimental architecture which had been disregarded at the time as not being "successful" at least in the commercial sense. However, she argues that these examples serve "to reveal the contours of other modes of engagement and negotiation." These other modes of engagement include utopian and experimental projects that focus on rapidly changing and advancing technology, hence the title "techno-utopia." She argues simultaneously that bottling the debate of late modernist architecture in a "grays vs. whites" paradigm "disassociates architecture from both its historical and political context as well as from its dreams of a better world to come."

OK. So where does my work fit in here? I am tentatively calling my chapter "Eco-scores and Eco-utopia." In my chapter I follow another trajectory of experimental architecture of the 1960s and early 70s that attempts an ecological utopian project. This is a project that is focused on the decontamination of humans and the redevelopment/rearticulation of urban living out of the spoils of Modern architecture and increased jet-age/atomic age technologies. In essence.... I could title my project Architecture or Eco-utopia? (but I won't) and this is not to outdo Felicity (couldn't possibly do that) but to merely add to her project, by providing a more nuanced look at the history of late modernist architecture. A look at an ecological project that doesn't fit into the debate.

Phew. Make sense? It will... give me a little bit more time to smooth out the edges.

CSA

2008-06-12T15:37:00.000-07:00

My husband and I just joined a Community Supported Agriculture program. Which basically means that we will be getting all of our produce from an organic local farm. You pay in advance and then pickup a box of goodies either once a week or once every two weeks (up to you). So today was our first pickup. We decided to start with once every other week to see how much we end up eating and to see how much we get. The box is enormous and full of good stuff! I was so excited to unpack it. We got:
lettuce
kale
radishes
beets
squash (a few different varieties)
apricots
apples
green onions
strawberries

I think this is really going to be good for us. Not only health-wise but I am also really looking forward to the experience of eating vegetables seasonally. We have been too spoiled at the grocery store and for no good reason. Now we will eat what the farm harvests according to the climate and conditions. We have a lot of vegetables to be eating over the next couple of weeks, and I'll let you know how we do. My first goal will be to cook kale so that it is delicious (I've never been a big fan) but I have some recipes I'm thinking about trying. I am missing tomatoes though - I was hoping that we might get some salmonella free.

Here is a website with a list of CSA programs. Just fill in your zip code to find the nearest one to you. Our farm is JR Organics.

Environmentalism and Design

2008-06-11T11:06:00.001-07:00

Thanks for your suggestions. I guess I was a little bit vague in my request. Let me try to explain.

For Chapter 1.2* I am looking at landscape architect Lawrence Halprin's relationship to the environmental movement emerging in the 1960s (his work 1960-1976). In doing so I need to define environmentalism from the perspective of environmental design professionals (architects, planners, engineers, etc) and the popular political movement. I am trying to give myself a quick briefing on how the environmental movement is discussed or historicized in both political science/social science circles in order to make the correlation to the design/architecture field and then in particular Halprin's own work.

Since the 19th century urban planners and architects have theorized the importance of preserving the natural environment to ensure the well-being of humans living in the urban environment. One might consider early designers such as Ebeneezer Howard (inventor of the Garden City concept) and Frederick Law Olmsted (designer of Central Park) as early environmentalists. The importance of these earlier concepts of integrating nature into the urban environment was revived in the 1950s as Environmentalism began to gain momentum as a political movement; an example of this can be seen in the 1950s protests to ban A-bomb testing. And I'm sure there are strides being made in environmental science that went along to support these raising concerns in national policy. And while I am more familiar with Environmentalism as an idea as it developed in the design field, I am still wondering about specific discussions/events texts taking place in the scientific community.

Anyhow, I hope this explains my position a little bit. This topic is something that interests me not only for my dissertation, but I am also thinking of designing a class about the history of Environmentalism in architecture or Ecological design..."Green" architecture (still need to think of a sexy title to attract students). And like my dissertation I would like to provide some wider context for the course.

* Chapter One is for the time being Chapter 1.1 and 1.2 it will likely be changed to Chapter 1 and 2 and then the current Chapter 2 will be Chapter 3...etc. Essentially the original Chapter One that was written a year ago is being split up and expand to become the entire dissertation.
Cool huh?

Call for ideas

2008-06-06T11:11:00.001-07:00

Hey there readers! I need your help. I'm currently doing some research on the history of Ecology and/or environmentalism as we might call it today. I think that some of you have science backgrounds (myrrh?) and I need to call on your expertise. What are some pivotal texts? I know about Silent Spring, but that is pretty much it. I have a few others more specific to the design world like: Man-made America: Chaos or Control? by Chris Tunnard. Any suggestions from anyone no matter what your "expertise" would be helpful. Thanks!!

A good deal.

2008-06-02T10:31:00.000-07:00

Ok. Putting the "worst teacher" message behind me became a whole lot easier when I got an email on Friday accepting my proposal to speak at the Large Annual Professional Conference. The panel I will be on is literally perfect for my dissertation topic and I wasn't wholly surprised that they invited me to speak. But it felt good nonetheless.

And... there is even more good news. The invitation is not merely an invitation to speak on a panel, but also has a potential book publication attached to it. Yes, you heard me correctly a book publication! The organizers of the panel are also working on an exhibition and book to go along with the topic and they are hoping that I might be able to contribute to the book.

Wow. This could be really really great for me, since my dissertation has yet to be published anywhere. Let's hope I don't screw it up.

The dreaded student evaluation

2008-05-30T10:05:00.000-07:00

This week I have been averaging the numbers to figure out final grades for my class. Overall, I felt really good about this semester. It was my first time teaching this particular class and despite that, I think it went pretty well. I have been getting a lot of emails from students telling me that they really enjoyed the class.

Yesterday, after I submitted my final grades I asked to read my course evaluations. This is kind of unusual for me because I never have the nerves to read the evaluation immediately after a course has finished. But I decided to just do it.

As I read them I flip through each one my heart pounding. I don't know why it makes me so nervous! It's just that I know that these students really have the capacity to damage my ego. It is also that I know that these kids don't always have the grace or consideration to be kind and constructive in their criticism. So anyhow, I had some really great ones. "Outstanding Professor" "Really knowledgeable" "I would recommend this Professor to anyone who wants to take art history/architecture" and then there were some good but simple "Great class." I also really enjoyed this one, "It was boring at times, but I learned a lot more than I expected." And then there is always that one, perhaps disgruntled student, who is just plain cruel.

Every once in a while there is an evaluation from a student who for whatever reason did not enjoy the class and had a really bad experience. In this case the student called me the "worst teacher I ever had at Random University." Ouch. That really hurts. Yes, it did hurt. But looking at the evaluation more carefully there are things that I think quickly discredit this student's opinion. How many hours a week did you study for this class? Zero he/she writes in. Overall, how demanding was the class? Not demanding enough (this was the only student who checked this box). And how much of the course material do you think you learned? Most.

Huh. This is a bit confusing to me. You don't study for the class, meaning you don't do the reading assignments, written assignments, etc. And yet the class was not demanding enough? And you learned the material? How is that possible? Well, I have to respond to this anonymous student: I think that you may be the worst student that I've ever had at Random University.

OK. I'm officially over it. Instead, I will bask in the praises from students who learned something new in my class, who appreciated the material, and realize that knowledge is not something that is just given to you like a perfectly gift-wrapped little present. Rather, it takes effort and care from all parties involved. Onward and upward to the next one.

Does everything have to be about money?

2008-05-20T11:41:00.000-07:00

So my husband and I recently bought a Prius. And not surprisingly it sparks a lot of conversations with friends and family and even strangers about hybrid cars. With gas prices rising with no end in sight many people seem ready to jump on the hybrid bandwagon. One thing I have learned as a new Prius owner is that $$ is what is really the motivator for both the discussion and the decision to go hybrid.

Speaking with a family member who is considering purchasing a Prius, the bulk of the discussion is MPG, which equals money saved, plus tax rebates...and other monetary benefits. After debating this round and round ("Is the premium you pay for a hybrid worth it?") I finally just blurted out, "Well no matter what the financial benefits are, there are benefits to the quality of our air and ridding ourself of our dependency on oil." Phew. Geez. Is this the elephant in the room? Is there some reason why fixing our air quality, lowering green house gas emissions, and buying less oil are not all valuable reasons and ENOUGH reason to purchase a cleaner burning vehicle??

I'll be honest with you, I did not buy this car to save money. This car was probably more expensive than I could afford easily. But being in the market for a new car and NOT considering all of the ideological problems with gas-fueled vehicles was impossible. If I could do it again, I would buy a completely electric car. After driving the Prius for a few weeks I realize that there is no reason for anyone to drive anything polluting- except perhaps semis. The fact that the major bulk of the world is driving around in these dinosaurs just goes to show how innovation is all about money. We totally have the capacity to fix this problem. But change is slow, and minds are too narrow to widen. Especially when the view is fixated on dollar signs.

As my husband would say, "Why don't you all get your head out of your ARSE-holes." Heh. I know that is crude, but what else is there to say?

Teaching toward a specific audience

2008-05-14T16:18:00.001-07:00

I have finished grading the research papers for Architecture Trade School. It wasn't easy, however. For the first time in all my years of teaching I had about 4 or 5 students with major English language issues. In the case of at least one student I believe that his language skill acted as a huge barrier to his articulation of the course material. So much so that I could not understand what he did and did not learn.

The problem was also that I had asked these students to turn in a final research paper as a course project. The length of the paper was to be approximately 8-10 pages. Since this was my first semester teaching at this school I realize that my assessment methods may not have been appropriate for this particular group of students. In fact, most of my students had a really difficult time writing this paper. Even those without language issues. But, not having any familiarity with the school or its student population I had to go with my previous experience as a my only guide.

I have graded a series of papers some of which I worry are partially plagiarized because I know there is no way that ESL student A could have written this. Other papers are written in incomplete sentences almost as if in a note-taking format. I read proposals and met individually with each student to discuss their progress, but unfortunately no matter how I tried to get them to learn the process of writing a research paper I know that most of them probably did not start to take it seriously until the last week or two weeks of school.

So how do I grade these papers? What about student A who copies from Wikipedia because he can't see any other way to complete the assignment? I gave out a lot of C's on this paper. I figured that failing the project would be an exaggerated reaction because I know the student tried his best, but was probably very frustrated.

Overall, I feel like I failed this class. I gave them a project that was too hard for them and I didn't help them to work through it. It was clear in the end that they needed much more time dedicated to working through simple questions of how to conduct research. If I get the opportunity to teach at this school again (not that I'm clamoring for an opportunity) at least I will come much more prepared and with a more realistic understanding of we can and can't accomplish in the class.

Crunch Time

2008-05-13T11:01:00.000-07:00

It's crunch time. Grades for Architecture Trade School are due tomorrow. Unfortunately for me I'm stuck using their crappy online grading system. I don't know why I even opted in to use this thing. I have been saving after every grade I enter for every assignment. Half the time it goes through and the other half it doesn't and I have to do it again. At this rate it will take me all day and all night to get the grades entered. I guess I could just give up and use an excel spreadsheet like I usually do.

More interesting post to come soon...

A map of the near future...

2008-05-06T01:25:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep. Tomorrow's—no, make that today's—"to-dos" keep running through my head. Add this to what a very wise woman once told me—that every blog needs a list—and so here you have a blogpost. Here is my "to-do" list, organized the same way as my real-life "to-do" notepad.
On the top it reads: ACCOMPLISH
It is then divided into the following sections to which I add:

TODAY
WRITE/MAIL CAA conference apps/abstracts
GRADE remaining WU finals
GRADE WU presentations
PRINT/MAIL Chapter 2 to SS
PRINT Octopus articles for review
PRINT WU research papers
CALL MI about name spelling for wedding gift.
FAX gift lady name spelling for engraving
READ student research paper draft/email comments

TOMORROW
WRITE lesson plan and review for SU
TEACH
BUY JM shower gift
BUY Mother's Day gift
REVIEW Octopus articles

WEEKEND
DRIVE to lala land
ATTEND shower
ATTEND Mother's DAY celebration
REVIEW Octopus articles
DRIVE back

NEAR FUTURE
WRITE intro, rework chp. one
READ Liz Kotz, Scott
READ/GRADE Research Papers -

SOMEDAY
WRITE Chapters 3 and 4
ADOPT a puppy
ORDER wedding album

MAYBE NEVER
FILE dissertation
GO on vacation
GET a life

You mean we have to take this final without notes?!!?!

2008-05-02T09:24:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I started a post where I was bitching about my students. And then I stopped because I realized how whiny it had become. Right now I am sitting in front of my students as they take their final exam. What I was whining about yesterday was how tired I was of hearing their whining to me about all of their finals, how unfair the scheduling was, and how they wanted extensions for this and this, and that.

This whole week has represented to me the constant challenge I have of being a "nice" teacher and being a "good" teacher. In my mind these are two completely different things. Even though I want my students to like me, what I want even more is for them to learn and sometimes this requires some tough love. I cannot accommodate every single need of every single needy student and for some reason this particular class at random Architecture Trade School has provided me with a group of 16 needy wannabe architects. Part of the reason for this (I imagine) is because their Studio classes have been presented to them as being so much more important. And since I teach a history survey class, it falls rather low on their priority list. Nonetheless, all commitments in college should be given attention. And while I respect the fact that some classes might be prioritized over others for various reason, if you are to neglect a class, recognize your choice and live with the consequences.

It is very hard for me to feel sorry for the student with a very poor attendance record on the last day of class. The fact that the class is scheduled at 9am (so early!) is not my fault and neither is the fact that it is the day after Lost or Must See TV or Hip Hop night at Downtown Disco. I don't care.

Each time a student comes to ask me for an extension, or another test date, I think to myself how I would never get away with asking for extensions in my own work (and nor would I have when I was an undergrad). More importantly I realize how pathetic they look. It is totally unprofessional, especially when it becomes habitual.

So even if my students end up leaving here not knowing a thing about the history of architecture at least they should learn a lesson about honoring their commitments. And once again (because I always learn something from my students) I have learned how not to act in the face of stress.

An afternoon pause

2008-04-23T16:58:00.000-07:00

Today I had to grade like the wind. Remember all that procrastinating going on last week? Well, I had promised my students that I would pass their exams back to them today and of course I didn't start grading until - well, today. So I had my work cut out for me, but I am proud to say that I finished with two hours to still prep for class, and even a half hour or so to write up a quickie blog post. Go team me!!

On a completely different topic - I hadn't realized until today how much a creature of habit I have become. One of the reasons that I chose academia as a field for my career was because I used to dread having to be at work at the same time every morning. I would go to work (when I held a 9-5 job right after undergrad) and get dizzy with a sense of dread, and yes this was a literal existential feeling of dread. Like Jean Paul Sartre writes in Nausea, I literally became ill as I became to fear this office being the place that would define my existence. Yes, I used to be very sensitive, physically speaking. Sartre's nausea was something that I too experienced for a good two years or so... waking up every morning scared of living - so scared of my routine as if it marked the death of my existence. But then again, one of the reasons why the nausea was so strong was because of the sensation of claustrophobia. Although I knew that I was scared shitless of routinization - I could think of absolutely no other viable options because I was too frightened. And fear of course is paralyzing like nothing else.

So anyhow, here I am 6 or 7 years later. I have not only shaken the nausea, but have fallen into a routine - one that makes me happy. Today I woke up, showered, got dressed, went to Cream to grade, ate lunch quickly and was in my office by 1 pm. Then at approximately 5pm after my office hours but before my 5:30 class, I pick up an afternoon coffee iced nonfat mexican mocha - easy chocolate (i know, I'm a pain in the ass). But today, the barista asked me if the amount of chocolate was okay because she is the one that always makes them for me and wasn't sure if I was happy with the amount of chocolate. So I laughed, when I realized, wow - I'm here routinely enough that she recognizes my ridiculous order. It made me realize how I've slipped into new habits, but ones that don't make me feel sick to my stomach.

There was a time in my life when Kafka, Thomas Mann, and Sartre were authors who really spoke to me as I grappled to understand the purpose of daily life. But now, I have found new authors that satisfy my spiritual needs. Instead of existential nihilism and dread, I have found pleasure in stopping to reflect upon each day as unique no matter how routine it seems to be. Taking a moment out of the day to reflect graciously on all that you have, and to revel in the existence of just that moment helps your routine (even if you do the same things) to not feel the same at all.

I'm not an English instructor so don't ask me what poetry is...

2008-04-16T16:27:00.001-07:00

With about 45 minutes left until class begins, I am torn as to whether it would be any good at all to pull out those exams that are screaming to be graded. As of now, they stay silenced in my backpack on the floor next to me as I write this piece of procrastination poetry.

Or, I could flip through the book I just picked up at the University Library... Technologies of the Self, a horribly purplish book with a fragmented picture of Michel Foucault on the cover. I was so excited to find that the library had this in their catalog that I rushed over there about a half hour ago to pick it off the shelves, and now it sits lonely and confused on my desk with the look that wonders why I even bothered. Staring at me with those lonely eyes that speak what many of the books laying in piles around my house often do.... why me????

But I will get to it sometime no doubt - between bouts of solitaire, blogposts, and american idol recaps- there is only so much trash in the world that one can submit oneself to. Did you know that Ashley Simpson is preggers? You see!?! That doesn't help with the "I'm a professor" profile I'm trying to create. Speaking of which I read a funny article about profs who have myspace and facebook profiles because they think that it helps them seem less scary to their students. Ha! That is silly I thought that we are supposed to look scary! Isn't that what makes students learn... I know that until my advisor wrote me a very mean and scary email that made me cry for three days I was doing pretty well at twiddling my thumbs.

I do not want my students in any way, shape or form to have access to my Friendster or myspace profiles. ... they should not know how old I am, what I like to eat for dinner, or know what my dog's name is, my pet names for my husband.... what I like to rock out to (lately the Kooks).... I won't even tell them about this blog. It is called "professional distance" and it is sooooooo important (in the spirit of myspace profiles I added some Os) in academia I can't tell you enough. These kids are young, and I hate to say it but completely immature. They need to learn what professional distance is and they certainly don't need some adult to cross the line as a model.

Opening yourself up anonymously is one thing, crying, confiding, and procrastinating, in front of strangers is a healthy form of self-contemplation and self-reflection.

Thank you for letting me procrastinate in front of you.

Problems with Borders (not the bookstore)

2008-04-14T10:31:00.000-07:00

I am going to warn you off the bat that I might offend some people with this post. But please hear me out - after my thought process I might actually get somewhere productive.

So last night husband and I watched the 2005 film, Paradise Now. In case you are unfamiliar with this film, it is a film by a Palestinian director about two young guys living in Nablus who are called upon to go on a suicide bombing mission in Tel-Aviv. I usually do not comment very much on Palestinian-Israeli politics because it is not something that I know a whole lot about and I find myself completely under qualified to comment on such an intense problem. Anyhow. Suffice to say this movie was very disturbing, and it was difficult to watch these two young guys as they came to terms with what they were doing, what they had volunteered to do, and all the reasons that they felt that self-sacrifice was the only option.

What struck me about the film, and this is something that I feel more qualified to talk about, is the radical contrast between the occupied and non-occupied parts of Israel. Nablus in many parts has only dirt roads and is very medieval in its urban plan. Israel of course has beautifully paved streets, clear bus stops, skyscrapers, beaches with lounges and sun umbrellas. It is a striking difference and when the film ended — let me just say I am completely and totally opposed to the killing of civilians as any type of military or even resistance tactic — I was struck with this disgust for anybody who would allow themselves to live in such close and direct vicinity to such obvious inequality.
"Graffiti" art by Banksy on the Palestinian-Israeli wall

And then I immediately considered the view on the other side of the Mexican-US border which is about 15 minutes south of from where I live. And I realized that this view is not much different than the view in Nablus and it is perhaps even more desperate. And of course I don't live in constant disgust in myself... for allowing such obvious inequality to exist so close to where I live. Am I being hypocritical? But after all, Mexico is a sovereign nation - and a democratic nation at that - its citizens vote, elect leaders.. and have some kind of agency in the working of their government.

Okay - this problem is obviously not going to be solved by one humble attempt at articulation on one buried blog post. But let me pose the following questions — when we live in an increasingly globalized world - where it is clear that physical borders to do not determine the limits of a nation's influence or power - is it not time to start considering some larger, broader form of citizenship? Once, many years ago, an Italian friend mentioned to me albeit jokingly that the whole world should be able to vote for the US president since whoever is chosen will have a profound impact on the entire world. This is a funny idea - yet not a terribly inaccurate observation. How can we begin to think about citizenship outside of national boundaries? The EU is not a bad model... but perhaps we need something more global. Anyway just some things to think about.

P.S. Here is a blog I found that is in a small way trying to overcome this problem. Two citizens one from Gaza and the other from Sderot post a blog about their experiences on opposite sides of the "border."

La Citta' piu' Bella

2008-04-10T10:47:00.000-07:00

From Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert talks about my city, Bologna. Bologna is very close to my heart indeed:

I don't recall now if it was before or after Lucca that I went to Bologna—a city so beautiful that I couldn't stop singing, the whole time I was there: "My Bologna has a first name! It's P-R-E-T-T-Y." Traditionally, Bologna—with its lovely brick architecture and famous wealth—has been called, "The Red, The Fat, and The Beautiful." (And yes, that was an alternate title for this book.) The food is definitely better here than in Rome, or maybe they just use more butter. Even the gelato in Bologna is better (and I feel somewhat disloyal saying that, but it's true). The mushrooms here are like big sexy tongues, and the prosciutto drapes over pizzas like a fine lace veil draping over a fancy lady's hat. And of course there is the Bolognese sauce, which laughs disdainfully at any other idea of ragu.

When I came upon this passage a big smile cross my face - she was describing my city. The city that I knew inside out and love even though we have been apart for almost 10 years now. I'd never heard the "Red, Fat and Beautiful" thing - though Bologna is known as the Red city - Red for the brick, the communist leanings, and the blood that its residents have shed fighting in many revolutions and wars. It is also a city commonly referred to as having the three 'T's : torre, tette, and tortellini (towers, tits, and tortellini!) I have had many relationships with cities over the course of my life: Berkeley, San Francisco, even Irvine... and Bologna was certainly the city where my spirit ran the most free. While living there I felt there was a part of me exuding from every corner. When I walked the streets I held a sense of pride. Gilbert focuses on the food in Bologna and yet there is so much more to this city than food: jazz performances in abandoned theatres, movies in piazza, anarchist gatherings, smoky lecture halls, hippies and communists, manifestazioni (demonstrations), and dance parties until 5 am.

I know the city goes on without me but she is very much in my heart and mind.

photo by michele gattuso

A Bug's Life

2008-04-09T13:18:00.000-07:00

There is something that has been irking at me the past couple of weeks or so and I have not posted about it because I feel like I am being a paranoid neurotic. I have been getting lots and lots of bug bites lately, and everywhere I go I feel like I'm being eaten up. At this point I know that it is becoming a psychological problem, but it is greatly distracting from my focus and let's face it - overall happiness in my day to day life.

My husband and I thoroughly cleaned our entire bedroom- washed the mattress pad, sheets and comforter, bought new pillows, and have sprayed bug repellent around. I get bites, he doesn't. I have been collecting specimens from our house - from little gnat/flying thingies to creepy crawlers that we both believe could or could not be bedbugs. I have my little ziploc bag of specimens by the computer for identification. It is an impossible feat. Then, after being in my office for 4-5 hours on Monday, I came home with more bites - so now I'm beginning to think that the infestation is there- where I do see little flies every once in a while. I hate to use pesticides but I'm reaching the end of the line here. I'm turning into an itching, bug catching, squashing, and cleaning maniac!!
And I know for a fact my husband is going to boot me out of the house if I mention it to him one more time.

Conference Re-Cap

2008-04-07T05:42:00.000-07:00

I'm up early this morning. After laying in bed for the past 20 minutes, eyes wide open, I decided to just go with it and to start my day. Perhaps it is a good time for me to process the experience of presenting and attending conferences this semester, which has finally reached its conclusion on Saturday (thankfully).

On Saturday I presented here in town at the big R1 public university. My paper was well-received, though I was a bit confused from the discussion following. I have been thinking about it a bit over the last day or so, and I think I've figured out why I've been so confused. First let me explain the gist of the discussions. After my presentation, which was the last of a two person panel, the faculty respondent spoke briefly about the two of our papers and then presented us with questions which we both took turns answering. The respondent didn't really directly address my paper so much except to pull out an essay that I quoted that discusses Jackson Pollock and begin to remind us all of the importance of Jackson Pollock in the discussion of Public Culture which is the topic of the day. I guess you could say that this is a good response as he sees the context in which I placed the quote relevant to the topic at hand. But at the same time, he was not so much addressing my paper as continuing the overall discussion of the conference.

Ok. I think here is my point. I guess i expected a more direct response to my paper, also from the audience. Instead, the paper provoked a lot of discussion around the topic of art and politics, historicizing the 1960s, and the institutionalization of art. These are all relevant topics of course, but I was just confused, because in my mind, I have dealt with these topics, some of which I deal with directly in the dissertation, and others that I find too general and time consuming to be worthy of addressing at all.

While all of these things are important, they have all been discussed at length in the discourse of art history and theory, and I'm not really interested in simply repeating a discussion that has already been had. I'm trying to take these discussions and say something new. So in the end I found some of these conversations very "grad student-ish." This is all fine, especially since it is a grad student conference, and it is a learning experience. Next year I hope to present my work at some professional conferences and it will be interesting to see if there is a difference.

After the panel was finished many people came up to tell me that they really enjoyed my paper, which surprised me because from the discussion, again I was confused. One woman who stopped to talk to me awhile said that she thought it was really well-written and very clear. She said that as she studies for her qualifying exams she finds it challenging to express difficult ideas in a clear way. I thanked her and then told her that I was confused by the discussion. And she assuaged my concerns saying, "Oh no, it was provocative and that is always really good." Huh. I guess I still have a lot to learn.

A quick digression.

2008-04-03T17:38:00.000-07:00

I only have a few minutes to post. I have a few minutes in my office before I need to go attend a lecture. Today has been one of those days where it has been a little tough to motivate myself. The weather is so beautiful that all I want to do is sit outside and enjoy the breeze. Anyhow. I have been reading a lot of really interesting stuff lately and have been meaning to post about it, but have not been able to, again, motivate. This weekend I am presenting at my last conference for the semester here in town. I'm looking forward to it (sort of) I am a little bit burnt out of conferences for the time being and I'm ready to stick my head back into my own work. Not that I don't enjoy hearing about other folks' work it's just that it can be a bit distracting.

Tomorrow for class I will be showing snippets from Jacques Tati's Mon Oncle. I love this part of the class. Basically we have spent the entire semester building up to Modernism with a capital 'M' and the in one day or so I'll just rip it to shreds. Heh. There is something about Modernist architecture that I am completely drawn to. The simplicity of line and form... I feel like I spend my life engaged in an inner and outer battle to modernize my life - to streamline it, make it clean, open, uncluttered and healthy. I like Le Corbusier's Modernism because of his insistence that modernist form is not just aesthetically beautiful, and universally so, but that it is spiritual. Ah, if only I could allow myself to believe this. It is like the dangerous sense that everything is right in the world that you get when you walk into a beautiful shopping mall. All conflict, disaster, poverty, and war is gone from the surface. The clean beautiful mannequins displaya fantasy world of ideal forms and beauty, their chalky faces stare silently into the eternal void. Aaaah... as if.

I digress entirely. Modernism in some cases is/was a valient attempt at making the world right through design... and in this sense the modernists did not have it entirely wrong... more on this later.

Here comes the sun...

2008-03-25T11:20:00.001-07:00

The weather has been wonderful here. I don't mean to say this to make all of you living in colder regions feel bad- sorry- but it is really awesome. Of course beautiful weather makes it a little bit tough to work - yesterday KH and I met in PB and were sitting outside on the patio of Cafe 976 doing our separate grading and soaking up some sun. It makes me just love San Diego.

So I have lots to do today because it is back to teaching tomorrow and Friday and I still have some research proposals to finish reading and two separate lessons to plan. Otherwise, I'm waiting to hear back from FS, superwoman advisor, about the chapter pages that she read. She already sent me a note saying that it was great, but I'm waiting to hear some more detailed comments. With the diss writing it always takes longer than you think it will... so I'm hoping that I'll be able to get it all done by June.

By the way - do you know how much Doctoral robes cost? $495!!! Holy smokes...

Ah, Spring Break

2008-03-19T15:21:00.000-07:00

While students love Spring Break so that they can get drunk in some foreign country and pass out on the beach (which seems like a mere change of location to me), Professors love Spring Break because they can actually catch up on all of the work that they've been meaning to do for a really long time. For me this currently includes grading, updating attendance rosters, and some reading/writing for the diss.

TM emailed me back this morning with a really nice long letter. We have been discussing the politics of the Haprin's work and how that should or will play into my argument. This goes back to what I was talking about here in regards to having a solid theoretical foundation for the paper. Or as TM puts it to have a "theoretical lense" through which to view the work. (I like his phraseology better). Anyhow I was leaning in the direction of discussing Halprin through the work of Henri Lefebvre and Chantal Mouffe. This would give it (in my opinion) a very radical and political edge. Both Lefebvre and Chantal Mouffe are proponents of conflict and antagonism as a necessary form of democracy. This is of course way oversimplified, but with more nuance it could be useful in reading the politics of public space during the 1960s through violent upheavals and occupations. (Lefebvre is writing in France and greatly affected by the student protests of 1968).
TM suggests something else. He believes that utilizing Lefebvre and Mouffe here would in his words be, "too much and not enough." He doesn't think that this analysis would be rich enough - and that essentially it has been done before and we are all very familiar with it. He recommended looking at Michel Foucault (who I already recognize as a strong influence), but in particular his later work that he wrote in the 1970s about the "Care of the Self." I think what TM is getting at— and which of course I am trying to do — is to suggest a focus on the elements of the Halprin's work that is specific to their location in the Bay Area and their relationship to the environment, the body, and perhaps even therapy. In this sense this is what differentiates their work from the avant-garde movements on the East coast.

Okay so I have some work to go on from this — it is really amazing to be having this kind of conversation with someone of this intellectual caliber in my field. I love it that we understand each other and that there is a sense of shared purpose. In a sense, I think this is what is beginning to tire me from hanging out with graduate students— everyone is so consistently insecure that they have a hard time sharing enthusiasm. Profs don't really need to worry about this so much (especially if they have tenure). Though I have to say the grad students in Binghamton were very friendly and felt much less competitive than those in my own program.

Back in Sunny Cal

2008-03-18T11:20:00.000-07:00

So I'm really happy to be back in California. I had a great time in Binghamton though, the AH department at BU was incredibly gracious and welcoming. The paper I presented was very well received - even more so than in my own department (i have some theories as to why this is so). It is an incredible feeling to present your research and then to receive so much enthusiasm in response. The Q&A was great — Douglas Crimp and Tom McDonough both asked really good questions and spoke to me afterwards. McDonough said that there is a real large need for research in this area - and he was really happy to see me doing it. WOW. So in case you aren't familiar with DC or TM - they are both hugely important in the field of Art Criticism - they are each editors (or former editors) of two of the arguably most prestigious and important journals in the field OCTOBER and GREYROOM. Anyhow - it was really amazing and I have to say the only thing that could have gone better is if I had responded to TM's question more directly. I am currently writing him a response which I will send him via email.

So, nonetheless, I am back - i have some more time this week. A little teaching "spring break" for me. Though, as you can probably tell I have an extreme amount of momentum propelling me forward to finalize this second chapter. It would be really incredible if I could send it out for potential publication. This is my goal for the next few weeks.

Detroit Detroit - stuck here till 1 am.

2008-03-13T18:19:00.000-07:00

Papa Hobo
by Paul Simon

Mm------
Its carbon and monoxide
The ole detroit perfume
It hangs on the highways
In the morning
And it lays you down by noon
Oh papa hobo
You can see that Im dressed like a schoolboy
But I feel like a clown
Its a natural reaction I learned
In this basketball town

Sweep up
I been sweeping up the tips Ive made
Im living on gatorade
Planning my getaway
Detroit, detroit
Got a hell of a hockey team
Got a left-handed way
Of making a man sign up on that
Automotive dream, oh yeah, oh yeah
Oh, papa papa hobo
Could you slip me a rid
Well, its just after breakfast
Im in the road
And the weatherman lied,
Oo-------, ah-----, oo-------

chapter two

2008-03-05T11:48:00.001-08:00

Okay - So I may have mentioned that I have been very busy this semester writing and getting ready to present at three separate graduate student conferences. This is all in order to keep the wheels moving and to make sure that I am getting my research written up.

So here is a snippet of my chapter with a tentative title:

“Experiments in Environment”: Crossing the Boundaries between
Art and Life (1966-1968)

“Young artists today need no longer say, ‘I am a painter’ or ‘a poet’ or ‘a dancer.’ They are simply ‘artists.’ All of life will be open to them. They will discover out of the ordinary things the meaning of ordinariness. They will not try to make them extraordinary but will only state their real meaning. But out of nothing they will devise the extraordinary and then maybe nothingness as well. People will be delighted or horrified, critics will be confused or amused, but these, I am certain, will be the alchemies of the 1960s.”
Allan Kaprow, Essays on the Blurring of Art and Everyday Life

According to Allan Kaprow’s rendering of the legacy of Jackson Pollock, the avant-garde artists of the mid 1950s and 1960s were entering into liberated territory. Instead of working within the confinements of form, history and medium, Kaprow encouraged these liberated artists to “become preoccupied with and even dazzled by the space and objects of our everyday life.” This directive extended to artists working in every medium. Ann and Lawrence Halprin were amongst these liberated “artists” to whom Kaprow spoke. Ann had been trained as a modern dancer, and Lawrence had attended the Harvard Graduate School of Design for landscape architecture. Now living and working in San Francisco, they were geographically marginalized from the center of the avant-garde work of Kaprow and other New York based performers, but they were connected to this movement through a desire to recognize something radically different in the way art should be understood and experienced. For the Halprins this meant a deep and studied focus of the spaces of artistic practice and alternative creative processes.

During this rapidly changing time in postwar America (from McCarthyism to the antiwar protests), the Halprins experimented both individually and in collaboration to expand the boundaries of their art. Together they began to develop new approaches to creative production: Ann began to integrate improvisation as a fixture in her dance workshops, while Lawrence worked to develop a method for notating movement through time and space. For Ann, improvisation provided the foundation for some of her most critically acclaimed pieces; and Lawrence developed a system of “motation” which he used to “score” his observations and designs of the built environment. Finally, in the summers 1966 and 1968 the Halprins came together to lead a group of intense creative workshops called “Experiments in Environment” which marked a turning point of these investigations into dance and design practice.

That's a sneak peak. From my first presentation of the paper last Friday I realized that I need to work on the theoretical foundations for my argument. So now, I am currently refreshing my memory on theories of performance, politics and art, the public, and community. I would really appreciate any references so please let me know if you have suggestions as to where I can read up on this.

My secret favorite theorists are:
Michel Foucault
Henri Lefebrve
Michel de Certeau

but also:
Chantal Mouffe (for political stuff on Radical Democracy)
Rosalyn Deutsche (ok.. theorist/historian)
Michael Warner "Public and Counterpublic"

I guess I have a thing for Frenchies...

Strangely Immobile

2008-03-04T10:21:00.000-08:00

Last week included some major crisis management. While preparing for a conference presentation on Thursday, my laptop completely died on me. Trying not to panic I took the laptop to the Apple store, and while the Apple Genius was able to get my files off of the computer, the computer itself was beyond help. Luckily, I have a desktop as well and so I was able to finish my presentation and class prep all before 1 am. Not without frazzling my nerves though.

Now I find myself sans laptop, and although luckily with all of my important files, I am strangely immobile. My dependency on my laptop has become very clear the past two days. My day usually involves some sort of decision making around where to go work, and you've heard a fair share of my favorite spots—Cream, Krakatoa, UCSD. But now I have no choice but to work at my desk at home. To some degree it is freeing that the choice is made for me. On the other hand, I wonder how well I'll work here - and how long will it take for this uncomfortable chair to drive me bonkers!

Thankfully it is an absolutely gorgeous day in San Diego - you could not ask for better. Balmy and breezy and full of sunshine!

Just Don't Get It

2008-02-27T10:34:00.000-08:00

So I don't get it. Here is the story and please tell me what you think. Last year there was a student in my class. This post on generation me was pretty much dedicated to her. I never actually wrote an entire post on her because I was really tired of dealing with her issues in real life, and I had no energy to reinvent them here on the blog. Let me sum up her record in my class last year.

1. attended 9 out something like 20 classes - typical excuse would be something like this:

Hey I missed class today b/c I had to meet with the counselor at 2:00 and it took longer then expected. Let me know if you received both responses sorry for all he confusion with the emails. PLease let me know what I missed in class.....

2. turned in half of the work.
3. finally... plagiarized on her final paper - after I warned her about it!

So all in all this nightmare of a student (to be polite) was shocked to find out that she would fail the class (despite all the warnings I gave her over the semester) and could not understand how plagiarizing from an Amazon.com review is not only pathetic but completely unethical and against the rules. She came to my office crying—this was supposedly during her Grandmother's funeral which became non-existent after the words "You are getting a failing grade" appeared before her eyes. I guess Grandma was able to rise from the dead. Anyhow, after dealing with nice polite old me— I was kind, I said, "look, it is simply the numbers —they don't add up" and after being accused of taking my personal feelings out on her I calmly replied, "This is not personal in any way, I only need to grade you with the same criteria that I grade all the other students in the class,"— she had her taste for real "meanies" when she cried to my boss - the Chair of the department. She ran to me saying, "He was soooo mean." Yeah, welcome to the real world honey. I put on a professional face even though deep down inside, I loathed the self-absorbed brat. I was tired of being called "Hey you" in her emails, and feeling the disrespect that it must have taken for her to lie to me over and over again. In all honesty I felt satisfied failing her. I was glad that she messed up. But if she hadn't, I would have also passed her without any hesitation.

Ok. Did I mention that she got a hold of my cell phone number and called me about 5 times in one day? After all of this was over with I was relieved that she quietly disappeared. I thought her name was one that I would never see again.

So then you might guess my surprise when I received an email this week asking me to be a "connection" on the networking site "LinkedIn." LinkedIN? Connection? what? Why would she want me there as a connection. Now in case you are unfamiliar with this site. It is not unlike Facebook, MySpace or Friendster, only that it is supposed to be for professional networking. Your connections are supposed to be references - people who have your back in the business world.

Has she forgotten the fact that I failed her last year? That I caught her plagiarizing? Lying to an authority figure?

After thinking about this for awhile I realize that this is so typical with the way she behaved the entire time that I had her as a student. She acted as if we were equals, that I was someone that she could negotiate with, and that ultimately I had no power over her. When I failed her I felt good because I was able to prove that she had made a big mistake with this assumption. Now, she is probably trying again to show me that we are equals, that I didn't shake her, and we can be buddies online.

Ok. Fine. Yes. We can be online buddies. But if anyone contacts me for a reference I will not hesitate to tell the truth.

Blank Placard Happening

2008-02-18T15:16:00.000-08:00

This Saturday I participated in my first "happening". It was really amazing and lots of fun. This was a renactment of Anna Halprin's Blank Placard Happening for 1969/70. Below you can see Anna Halprin giving us directions and explaining the "score." They were as follows:
In groups of approximately 30 people we will be walking in pairs each holding a blank placard. Our leader will take us around to Market St. for about 30 minutes. When we hear the musical signal, we should all stop marching and line up facing the sidewalk (toppic). If someone asks us what we are doing and why our sign our blank - we should tell them that we are participating in the Blank Placard dance and then ask them what they would want to see written on the sign.

Observing the way people react to this odd performance was incredibly interesting. Some just walk by and completely ignore us - probably sizing us up to be some lunatic hippie group. Others responded by telling us that there was nothing on our sign (as if we weren't aware of that fact.) And some, were quite enthusiastic and eager to tell us what they would want to see protested. The first woman I spoke to though very carefully about it before she said, "I think developers should build more affordable housing." Others simply said - "I don't know" or "There is nothing that I would want to protest" (??!!). We heard a lot of "Vote for Obama." "Vote for Hillary." "Impeach Bush." "End the war." .... etc.

In the end we returned to the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts where we had begun our walk, and wrote up on our placards - what we had been told by the passers by. We then walked around in a circle, and then a snake type formation so that we could read what everyone's signs said. It was wonderful fun and a moving experience, I hope to participate in more happenings in the future.

Latte Art- I love it!

2008-02-13T11:08:00.000-08:00

Ok I know I should be working but this little story in the Washington Post caught my eye this morning.

This is definitely art that I can into . I remember my barista in Bologna, Ginni, would do these for me with my cappuccinos. He did hearts and flowers... it is really impressive and lots of fun to get in the morning - not knowing what design you'll be getting next.

The Adjunct Office

2008-02-06T14:43:00.000-08:00

This semester I share my office with four or five other adjuncts. This is totally fine by me - especially since from experience it seems that most adjuncts don't want to spend one minute more here than they have to. I may have mentioned this in the past, but this office is one of the places that I work best. Yes, I know it is depressing - no windows, in the basement, no cell phone access- but it is great for my productivity. The only thing that I can really do to procrastinate in here is to play solitaire or do a crossword puzzle (write a blogpost?) - and one can only do that for so long.

Anyhow I have met two of my officemates so far and each of them have run right out of here as soon as their office hours were over. Again fine by me, since this little room is becoming my home away from home. I don't have very many good options of where to work. Home is nearly out of the question because I just fail miserably there - and spend most of my time raiding the refrigerator! Either that or I find myself reading on the couch, because it is more comfortable than sitting at my desk, and then waking up a half hour later in a pile of my own drool! So I have concluded that home is best for relaxation, TV watching, cooking, and that serious work needs to be accomplished outside of my house. Windowless rooms look really good now.

Super Tuesday

2008-02-05T09:10:00.000-08:00

Don't forget to vote today! Get out there!

Monday morning apology

2008-02-04T11:36:00.000-08:00

Yes I've been slacking on the blog - much apologies to my devotees. I appreciate your avid attention and hate to keep you in the lurch. This past week has been a bit of a trial. I am now teaching two classes at two separate universities and am preparing for two conferences. My in-laws also came in for a visit which took me away from my work and concentration for a little bit. OK. - so how is that for excuses?

Let me give you the low down on the two new teaching gigs:

1. Los Angeles based Architecture School has an arm in SD and I started teaching Modern Architecture History to about 16 young aspiring architects. So far it is really great. Nice students, eager to learn, and ask good questions (this is really all that I'm looking for). If any students read my blog you should know that your profs are most likely Ok with the fact that you might disagree with them every once in awhile. We want to be challenged and we want to encourage you to challenge us. So ask hard questions - its OK, we are trained to handle it and we won't think that you are a ^%$#W#@. When you ask tough questions we see that you are engaged and that you care enough to evaluate what you are being taught. This new school has smart kids like that ... they look closely and carefully at what is taught to them. They keep me on my game and I like that.

2. small Catholic liberal arts college - teaching Modern Arch also. This is the school that I have been teaching at for the past two years. I can't yet make an evaluation of this new group. I was really impressed with my last class - though I must say that they are certainly not at the same critical level as the students in any of the other schools that I have taught. 'm nnot sure exactly why but they seem to have a very difficult time thinking critically. I have to work on that with them. This class is really large - every seat is taken (around 40). Now I know as far as college course go this is not that large of a class - but it is large for this school - and for me, since I have not taught any large lecture courses yet. I'm still working on figuring out the right way to handle the group -how to get interaction and engagement coming from both sides of the classroom. I'm going to try some things out today and see how it goes.

I'll update you on the conferences in a little bit, but for now I need to get to work. I'm at Cream and forgot my AC cord so I only have 46 minutes to work before I have to go home and plug in the laptop.

Returning from an absence...

2008-01-22T10:46:00.000-08:00

Returning after a long absence is never easy. I wish that I could tell you that I was "chiuso per natale" and that I was simply protecting my rights to leisure time. And yes that is partially true, but I also spent much of this time away from you collecting data for my diss. It would be impossible to tell you everything that I have been up to, but I will try to pinpoint some of the highlights from the last month or so.

1. California coast road trip (Cambria, Big Sur, Pacific Grove, Stanford, SF, and Berkeley) with sis - interviewing people along the way, including: Janice Ross from Stanford and Donlyn Lyndon (almost a palindromic name!) from Berkeley.

2. New Year's rock out to Smith's cover band the Sweet and Tender Hooligans in Silverlake.

If it's not Love
Then it's the Bomb
Then it's the Bomb
That will bring us together

3. 8 days spent raking through the files at the Lawrence Halprin archive at Penn. With a two-day jaunt in D.C. which included the National Portrait Gallery, The American Art Museum, The National Gallery, the monuments-- and most importantly the FDR memorial designed by who else? Lawrence Halprin. I'm such a groupie.

4. 100% all relax, all the time 5-night cruise with husband to Cabo San Lucas. Scuba diving in the bay, excellent food, lots of silly trivia games, bingo, and other cruise ridiculousness.

5. New gig at Woodbury University. Finally working with students who care about architecture!! Yipee!

6. Celebrating the big 3-0. Yep indeed birthday madness for me this weekend— bowling with the fam and the cousins (who announced that a baby is on the way!). Strawberry shortcake-yum, dinner at a restaurant with waiters that sing, and a marathon game of monopoly with mom coming out to be the winner (husband and I over extended our property ownership and ended up cash poor).

7. This week sort of back to work - in-laws visit thurs - tues.

It has been a very busy month. I hope you will understand my blog hiatus. Now that it is back to work there will be lots to post.

Chiuso per Natale

2007-12-27T14:01:00.001-08:00

The above sign notes that the establishment is closed for summer break (Chiuso per ferie) and will return Aug. 15.

Institutionalized holidays are necessary for the mental and physical health of any society. Whether religious, historical or national in origin, I believe that an imposed "day of rest" is necessary every once in a while. By this point I think it is indisputable that Americans have an obsession with work. Our "open 24-hour, all work no play" culture is not only addictive but is also contagious.

When I lived in Bologna, Italy, I was at first frustrated by the fact that on seemingly random days and times of the week or of the year all shops would be closed - Thursday afternoons, Sundays, everyday between 1 and 3, and of course July and August for about an entire month.

I remember running out to get an important pharmaceutical item on a Thursday only to find that the pharmacy was closed. Erg. That was frustrating. But after a little bit of acculturation, I realized that this was in fact a blessing in disguise and Italians have it right after all.

In Italy, people are not afraid to rest. Rest is in fact, institutionalized. And the fact that everyone complies with this understanding enforces a culture not of workaholics but of people who know how to enjoy life. Why shouldn't everyone shut down their shop/office for a month in the summer? It is too hot to work anyway, so let's all go to the beach!

It is refreshing to see; and this week when the intersection by my house (a bus line hub) was fully quiet, I felt nervous but then refreshed to discover that Christmas is probably the only day in the year when everything in urban America really shuts down. All other holidays, Sundays, etc have become potential work days for anyone. We could certainly learn from the Italians in many ways, if only we could force mega-chain stores to close every once in a while! Perhaps we could begin to resist the insane culture promoted by over-caffeinated capitalists~

Leisure Sickness

2007-12-26T11:30:00.000-08:00

An article in The Washington Post yesterday featured doctors claiming that there is something behind "leisure sickness." "Just when you take a break from your busy schedule to enjoy a little relaxation, your leisure time becomes anything but -- full of aches and pains, cold- and flulike symptoms and other health complaints," the article states.

In these few weeks of leisure that I have, I can certainly understand the source of this illness. But the illness for me, takes on a different form. I guess that I would call it "leisure anxiety." Yes, it is true. Relaxing stresses me out. Over the past few days I have read a novel, planted my lavender seeds, watched movies, and cooked a whole lot of food. But engaging in these activities is a challenge. I feel wrong in doing them, thinking that I should be doing something else, something work related.

I think that for most people vacations really can be vacations. But when you have a dissertation hanging over your head constantly (even when you are confident with your progress) it seems that work is never done, and too much indulgence in relaxing activities can be interpreted as sabotage.

With that said I think that vacations are extremely important as long as one can truly relax and get work off the mind. What helps me is that over the past few days, the streets have been dead quiet. Stores are closed, offices too, and people just are not around. With that kind of environment it seems easier to be OK with not doing anything. I think institutionalized holidays are a necessity for the sanity of our society.

More on that to come.

Interview #2

2007-12-13T10:16:00.001-08:00

I had another dissertation interview today with the media artist Chip Lord who had attended the Halprin workshop "Experiments in Environment" in 1968. The vibe of the interview was much different than my last one. I think this is probably because he remembered this workshop quite fondly, and because it had had a large impact on his life. In that sense, there was a real ease in talking about it, and he really did remember a lot. It was really enjoyable to speak with him, and to meet with someone who is enthusiastic about the Halprins work during this time.

It is kind of interesting because my advisor FS is writing a book on the artist and architectural collective started by Lord, Ant Farm from 1968-1978. I'm really excited for when her book will come out (May 2008).

Hippies chill in Ant Farm's Inflatable, 1971.

I have to get back to work. I have papers to grade, a class to plan (last day - yeah!!), and an interview summary to write up. Back soon.

Some scattered thoughts on memory/history and the inevitable [dis]advantage of hindsight?

2007-12-06T14:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had my meeting with Yvonne Rainer and it just made me realize how unreliable our memories are. I was asking her questions about a summer workshop that she attended over 40 years ago. Of course it is natural that memory fades and I should have been prepared for this. But with all of the research that I have done I feel like I can close my eyes and imagine what it was like back then. It seems that at this moment in time my historical memory is stronger than Yvonne's.

But then again my historical memory is really another's, because everything I have learned about that time period has mostly been through the compilations that a number of other historians have put together. And one thing that became really clear from talking to Yvonne is that historians, like everyone else, have their own agendas. In some ways what Yvonne did remember was very different from what I have read.

I know that these thoughts are not really lucid at all, and I apologize for that, but the interview yesterday really got me thinking about my own agenda as I write this history. It is clear to me that I have one, so I guess I need to be wary that when I incorporate the facts into my analysis I should take everything that I have learned in my research and weigh it equally.

Is it surprising that Yvonne would consider Ann Halprin's 1960s work on the west coast less conceptual and less intellectual than the work on the east coast? Not really, even primary sources have their own agendas. As SS explained to me early on, all of these people have their own public persona to protect. And I, as a historian, have an argument to make, so therefore we are all coming to the table fully disadvantaged.

So I guess I will conclude with questions rather than answers today. One of my advisors kept pushing the importance of interviews as primary sources, and I understand the importance of this to some degree. But how can we compensate for flawed memories? for personal agendas? for the inevitable effect of hindsight?

It is that time of the semester...

2007-12-03T15:15:00.000-08:00

Sorry to have deserted the blog for a while there. Last week was incredibly busy and I could not find a moment to write -

First things first, check out our new issue: www.octopusjournal.org. Import/Export is finally launched and looks amazing. I guess you could say that this was what I was doing last week instead of updating the blog.

The semester is coming to an end. And right around this time is when I start regretting that I didn't assign an end of the year research paper in lieu of a final exam. Our final is on the last possible day, Dec. 20th, at 8 in the evening. But let's look on the bright side. Only four more classes left for the semester, and then I get a teaching break until Jan. 14. The grading break will come slightly later.

I will start to teach at a new school in the spring (but still keeping the small liberal arts job), and luckily the course will be nearly the exact same as the one that I am scheduled to teach at the small liberal arts college. The new school is a professional and graduate school in architecture- so we'll see how that goes. I can almost guarantee that the students will be radically different, but you never know.

On the dissertation front reworking of Chapter One is going well and is starting to look like it will become One and Two. The reorganizing of this chapter into two chapters had me at a bit of a standstill for a while, but I think I know how to accomplish this and will be working at it for the next couple of days. Hopefully by the end of January I'll have two chapters done.

Halprin's office has been completely ignoring my emails as of late. I'm not sure what approach I should take with this. I'm traveling up to the Bay Area in a couple of weeks to meet with Janice Ross, Anna Halprin's biographer, and I'd like to meet with Halprin or at least a rep from his office. I'm thinking a polite phone call in the next couple of days would be appropriate.

On Weds. I am meeting with Yvonne Rainer at UCI and she was Anna Halprin's student, not to mention an amazing choreographer, filmmaker, video and performance artist in her own right. I'm sure that they have a fairly close relationship, and maybe she can help me out in making contact.

In summary, I'm moving from teaching to research mode... and that makes me happy for now. more to come soon.

Some random thoughts about teaching

2007-11-20T14:51:00.000-08:00

I am currently satisfying a sugar craving with an Oreo cookie muffin. Who knew that Oreo's could be made into a muffin? Well I guess if they can make a pizza out of them they can make them into anything. I needed a little afternoon pick-me-up.

From the looks of things on campus today, most students have gone home for Thanksgiving already. Seems absurd to me the way students take such liberties missing class, and I wouldn't be surprised if many parents endorsed this behavior. Anyhow, it will be interesting to see who comes to class today. Maybe I should give a pop quiz. I've heard of teachers doing this, and the quiz will be have one question and that question would be "What is your name?" Nah, I don't play those kinds of games. The students who miss class have take responsibility on their own for their absences, without any extra penalty from me. They already miss the material, and get an unexcused absence on their attendance record.

By the way, the field trip was really truly great. It was kind of like a dream come true for me to "hang" with my students in a more relaxed environment. I know I'm super dorky. It is not that I want to be friends with my students but the more I get to know them the more I can figure out how to teach them, it is that simple. Plus they are pretty cool people some of them. You can imagine that the type of students who would show up on a Saturday for a non-obligatory field trip are pretty much the best students in the class. Some disappointments were those that told me they were coming but didn't show. It's not that I take it personally or anything, it is just disappointing when you start to think that someone has the potential to impress you and then bails.

So all in all it was success. We toured the Neutra VDL House which was amazing. It is amazing how good design can change a place. The house is in need of restoration, but when you imagine it in its hey day it is unbelievable. And then went for a lovely walk downtown—a bit tiring, but I think everyone had a good day.

"Winging It"

2007-11-16T14:24:00.001-08:00

On occasion I mention in this blog that I feel like a fraud, that one of these days someone is going to figure out that I cram for teaching and that I "wing it" most of the time. Surprisingly (or not, you decide), there is an article about this in the Chronicle for Higher Education that reveals nearly 70% of people feel this way. Rate your Students has also published some posts on the topic. I guess in my feeling this way - I am not alone. In fact this psychological disorder has name, it is called Impostor Syndrome.

Why do academics and professors seem to suffer from this syndrome so commonly? Maybe it is because we are expected to know so much, and if the amount of information that we are expected to know is endless... how can we not feel like a fraud? I have to remind myself constantly that it is impossible to know everything, and that it is for this reason that people have specialized areas of research. And yes, it is Ok to freshen up on material every once in a while. In fact, it is probably admirable to do so—our brains are not static objects, but dynamic that grow, change, retain and forget information on a daily basis.

Ohm..........................

2007-11-15T14:07:00.001-08:00

Last week I got hypnotized for the very first time in my life. I am seeing this woman who is teaching me meditation, and we did an exercise which went from meditation into hypnosis. It was such an amazing feeling. She explained to me that hypnosis is simply a very deep state of relaxation. I had been feeling so good all day afterwards, through the weekend, and into the beginning of the week, that I realized: what in all hell will I blog about from now on?

In my hypnotic and relaxed state I felt like the main character in the film Office Space, you know the guy who is so relaxed that nothing can throw him for a loop. And I realized that my blog is about passion, anger, frustration, trials and tribulations. If those start to roll off of me with no affect -- will I no longer be in need of a blog?

Well, let's not jump too far ahead. Meditation, deep relaxation and all of these things that are moving me in the direction of inner peace require a lot of practice. Lucky for you the search for inner peace is something that will need to be a constant workout for me. Let's face it I'm a typical nutcase, and I don't think that I have exactly chosen a low stress career.

But I have chosen a career that allows me the flexibility to deal with stress. Who do you think is paying for the meditation training? Thank goodness for the open-mindedness of university sponsored health care.

So anyhow, it suffices to say that this blog shouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon. In fact I am amazingly sane right now despite the lack of sleep and caffeine that has powered me through the day. And in all honesty -- the deep relaxation effect from Friday is long gone. I have deadlines up the kazoo, and don't have enough room in my brain to keep my to-do list straight. But that is a whole other story altogether, and I'll save it for another day.

On a Grander Scale

2007-11-12T17:28:00.000-08:00

By request from one of my students and another professor in the department I have organized a day trip to Los Angeles for my course on LA Art and Architecture. In the morning, we will tour the Neutra VDL house and after lunch, in a classic Googie style diner, we will be guided on a public art and architecture tour by the ever-most talented, witty, and knowledgeable, me.

Ha, ha, okay so yes, I jest. Last year we did a similar trip and were led by a guide from the LA Conservancy. Not that the tour was terrible or anything, but our tour guide basically gave us the facts: this person built this, on this day, in this style, and this is the story, blah, blah, blah. And yes, the facts are important, but I want my students to think more imaginatively and critically about the design of downtown LA. I don't want them to simply memorize buildings, they can do that from reading a textbook. I want them to think about how it feels to be a pedestrian in downtown Los Angeles, what the terrain feels like, how the city changes from the Diamond district to Bunker Hill, etc. And most importantly, I want them to think about the relationship between public and private space. How are relationships of power, communicated through building design, public art commissions, and outdoor seating arrangements? Yes, I will point out to the them the important sculptures and tell them who the artists are, but since we are actually going to be in the city and out of the classroom I want them to do more than go on a passively guided tour of the city. I want them to go on an actively guided tour of the city, and engage with the city on a grander scale.

The Modern Man

2007-11-06T20:22:00.000-08:00

Can I just say: "Thank god, for podcasts!"

My husband now volunteers to do dishes so that he can catch up with the news and listen to his finance casts...

A long overdue update

2007-11-05T16:20:00.000-08:00

What have I been working on these days? I realize that it is time for a long overdue update on the work front. The diss word count bar, you may have noticed, hasn't budged for a few weeks. And yet I assure you dissertation work is being done, progress is still being made. In fact the motors have been moving more quickly than ever.

Within a period of two weeks I experienced both the highest and lowest moment of my dissertation writing career thus far. First I was awarded the TMC award from the G Foundation. An amazing boost to my esteem, a reinforcement of my status as scholar in training, future professor extraordinaire and a move in all ways to reinvigorate my productivity.

Then... a week (maybe two?) later. I receive the infamous email from the advisor-who-must-not-be-named with intensely (and uneccessary) harsh critical words toward some pages I gave him to read of my first chapter. At that point I considered returning the money, notifying the foundation and my school that, "I QUIT!" I can't do it anymore, yada yada yada. If my advisor knows that I'm a fraud how come nobody else seems to recognize it?

Well, the long bit of it is that while advisor-who-must-not-be-named might be socially inept, he knows of what he speaks. Maybe he believes in tough love. And the truth of the matter is that, even though I was close to pulling myself out of the ring, I think I really needed the awakening. In the past two weeks I have been so productive. I have been emailing contacts right and left, requesting new texts from libraries up and down California, and have been reading/writing/reworking non-stop. If people don't have high expectations of you then you probably won't raise the bar. As an editor for the graduate journal in our program I have read a wide range of graduate level work in my field. From those of questionable quality to really impressive high quality stuff—and I'm glad that my advisors expect me to fall at the top end of this spectrum. Why should I allow them to let me simply sneak by? Why shouldn't they push me to the max?

So even the though the little bar on the right has not moved, do not let this deceive you. I am hard at work. And I promised super-smart-but-absentminded advisor that I will give her a reworking of the chapter by November 20. That is my goal, but she probably won't remember either way... ya gotta love academia.

What lives in your eyebrows?

2007-10-31T10:24:00.000-07:00

Do you remember the post where I shared some of the funny google searches that lead people to this blog? Well I recently noticed one and I felt that I just had to share it with you. This curious soul asked Google, "What lives in your eyebrows?" I'm not sure why the user got directed to this blog, but probably because I once wrote a post that mentioned my first gray hair that appeared in my eyebrow! Ok. So for the benefit of this user and because this person piqued my own curiosity I decided to do some investigating to find out: What lives in your eyebrows? Quite the pick up line - huh?

Ew. My initial (and only) discovery was this the Demodex folliculorum—"eyelash creatures." So this doesn't mention eyebrows but rather eyelashes but it's close enough. This is truly gross. I'm not sure what disturbs me more to know that there are things that live in your eyebrows, or that someone would want to know this!

Anyhow, apologies for the wackiness of this post... I promise more serious stuff to come.

Proud to be a Californian but with an important caution.

2007-10-24T11:54:00.000-07:00

You know I have to say that it is during times like these that I am really happy to be a Californian. Despite all of the s%&# we put up with on a regular basis—traffic, smog, celebrities going in and out of rehab and dangerously inhabiting our streets—when push comes to shove we can really make it work.

In what disaster scenario would one ever imagine the red cross and the salvation army proclaiming: "Please don't bring any more food we have too much!"? The folks at Qualcomm stadium, while surviving through the desperate situation of possibly losing their homes and belongings, are being served pizza, Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf coffee, and ethnic foods from around the globe. Volunteers are passing out sunscreen and teachers have set up tents for children where they are doing art projects and singing songs! Local bands are providing entertainment at no cost (Ok so maybe they are looking for that record deal - but so what?) And only in California would you have yoga classes, masseuses and group therapy at an emergency evacuation center. The LA Times calls it "the Ritz" of shelters, I like to call it "home sweet home."

The thing that is starting to disturb me are the numerous comparisons of Firestorm 2007 to Hurricane Katrina that are beginning to feel as if they are thinly veiled expressions of racism. Here Sgt. Zell Evans from the National Guard comments:

"This is real different from Katrina," said Evans, who spent 45 days in New Orleans after the 2005 hurricane. "Here? There's no fear, no pushing, no fighting. Everybody is calm. It's just a completely different situation."

Let's be wary of these types of comparisons. At times like these anecdotes and comparisons to Katrina may help Californians to get through this by feeling confident about their city's response and their fellow neighbors; But ultimately, if the comparisons continue (and I wouldn't be surprised if they do especially in the aftermath) they can become dangerously essentialist. What I mean is this: it goes without saying that New Orleans and those at the Superdome were poor Southern blacks and as long as this remains implicit, we must remember that disaster relief is about available resources and not about a character of a "people" or a "race". Comments such that I have heard, "This is about San Diegans helping themselves," are comforting but lets remember the resources that San Deigans have to work with.

To use a stereotypical California analogy, a wave of disaster can be surfed all the way to shore with the proper board and wet suit. But without proper equipment the waves no doubt will knock any surfer off his board, and the ocean can quickly become a sight of panic and turbulence. I hope that in a disaster where more of us our affected and resources may be spread thinner that we will still be able to share this feeling of philanthropy and neighborliness even if we are off our boards and fighting against the rip-tides. In short I believe any group, race or culture could turn into a Katrina-like scenario. So fellow Californians, let's not gloat too much. Yes we are glorious in all of our little eccentricities, but we also have some of the highest-valued real estate in the country and our tans cost more than some people's weekly wages.

Living the abnormal

2007-10-23T11:59:00.001-07:00

Doing much better today—less panic, more calm, praying for rain, winds to change to directions, and heat to withdraw. Thankfully, mother nature or the random complex mechanisms that drive the universe, seem to be cooperating more so today than yesterday (can random mechanisms 'cooperate'? I don't think so). Anyhow, I'm hoping that here in San Diego we will get back to "normal" relatively soon. Though for a lot of people who have lost their homes already, "normal" may seem a long ways away.

As for me, my panic seems to have mostly subsided and I am using my non-teaching vacation due to natural disaster to get some quiet reading done. Mainly continuing with Anna Halprin's biography, Experience through Dance by Janice Ross. I will also type up my notes from my meeting with SS at the Getty on Sat and continue organizing my "to do" list until it gains some semblance of do-ability—no sense in having a "to do" list that overwhelms you. Grad Journal proofs go out on Friday, and they are looking pretty good. I only have a few pages to do myself (table of contents, acknowledgments, contributors, etc.). As far as the grad journal goes I'm feeling my reign as managing editor slowly coming to an end and I can almost touch it it feels so good. I have worked so hard on this journal for the past 3+ years and possibly even to the detriment of some of my other responsibilities. I am very proud of the work I have done and know that I am leaving it in really really good hands — KH and VM are going to rock as new managing editors!

Until soon...

Confronting Panic

2007-10-22T11:24:00.001-07:00

I saved myself from a near panic attack this morning. I think it was set off in part by the wildfires that are ravaging north san diego and in part by the overwhelming dialog that I have been having with my advisors the past few days.

First, the fires. I have to admit that I have an irrational fear of global warming. Every time there is some sign of extreme weather behavior I begin to despair on the state of the environment. I'm sure some would say that this fear is not irrational - what is irrational of course is my reaction to the fear. In my head I overwhelm myself with scenarios of disaster and future discomfort that will be brought on by the changing climate. As a person at child-bearing age and as someone thinking about starting a family soon, I reconsider my biological instinct to have children. What kind of world would I be bringing them into? What kind of life will they lead? Will their world be filled with catastrophes and suffering? Is this fair to them that I make the decision for them to have to exist in it and fight through it? And then, I selfishly calm myself down by considering how lucky we are to live in a country/city/state/family that is wealthy and most likely will not be the ones most harmed by these changes. How can that be my sole source of comfort? The other source I comfort I try to find is in a sense of optimism that the human population will pull together to make the drastic changes necessary to repair the damage we have caused. Though after telling myself this - I secretly know deep down inside that this is highly unlikely. Though I do retain hope.

Second cause of panic attack. This is not easy for me to admit publicly. While I try to be as honest as possible on this blog - I also have to protect my ego in some cases. This is not one of those times. I have my successes and my failures - as do most people. I recently turned in a chapter draft to my committee (as you may recall). First advisor comments were tough but all constructive and doable - nothing surprising. Second advisor, ED, laid down a big blow on Friday evening thereby completely ruining my weekend in all of one swoop. His comments were harsh, tough, mean, and as in the words of my other advisor (patronizing and condescending). And what has come out of this for me are an incredibly overwhelming few days; on the one hand, trying to organize and comprehend the next steps to be taken in my work and research, and on the other hand battling with the little voice in my head that keeps saying, "Maybe, you are not cut out for this."

As I work to silence the little voice in my head. The more dominant me is wondering how long it will take me to read the entire list of books that ED told me to read. Will this put me back? How long? SS thinks that I can have the chapter revised in a month and I see that as doable. But then there is the other issue that ED brought up to me which is about having mastered a literature on architecture history, practice, and theory that I have gaps in. If I am to put myself on the job market as an architectural historian - I need to have mastered this entire body of literature and this is separate from my dissertation.

I guess what is surfacing for me is one of the major challenges of being in an interdisciplinary PhD program - that the world outside of the program is not interdisciplinary yet and ultimately, I need to be able to fit in somewhere. Due to the interdisciplinary nature of my Program most of the foundational work I also have to do independently.

Virtual Teaching!

2007-10-16T17:20:00.001-07:00

I just held my first virtual office hours. I told my students that during my "real" office hours I will also make myself available via chat. I figured it can't hurt since my office is usually very quiet during the hours of 4pm-5pm on Tues. and Thurs.

So students came to my virtual office! Maybe it is because I am less scary online than in person. Maybe they think that I will bite their head off or something.

Anyway, something that I have been playing around with lately is this electronic classroom called Blackboard. I have set up a website where I have made all of the images that I show in class available to my students so that they can review them. Today they have their midterm and I specifically reminded them that they should review the images and know them. So I would assume that unless they all have brilliant memories they would need to go online to look at the images. The cool thing for me is that as the instructor I get to track their movement on the site. So I know when they visited, for how long, what they downloaded and what discussions they've read. Even chats that they have participated in. It is kind of sneaky but initially I just looked to see if anyone was coming since I had put so much time into developing the site I wanted to see if it was being utilized.

Then today I was able to see what students started studying and when. So for example this one woman in my class just logged on to look at the images one hour before the class! Anyhow, this is brilliant and scary. I'll have to make sure that it does not jog a bias while grading. But in reality I know which students are the hardworkers and which ones are the slackers already. I'm just cool like that.

A little venting about bureaucracy, computers, and the reliable C paper that makes your hair fall out

2007-10-16T14:38:00.000-07:00

Ergh. I'm feeling really annoyed today. I'm not sure why but everything just seems to be so complicated when it should be easy.

1. Why is it so hard to figure out how much money we have for the grad journal? I see why I did not choose accounting or economics as a field of study....ANNOYING! I emailed JW to find out our account balance and to make sure the bookkeeper's record matched our own. Oh, it was only $600 off. Why? Because of bureaucracy. Money that comes from AH, FMS, and VS for the journal is paid on an expense basis and not deposited into our account. Of course we didn't know this until today so we thought we were $600 short. In addition, when I confirmed with JW I was informed that VS did not have room for their $300 contribution this year so they just X'ed us out of the budget. What??!?! Can you really do that without informing the people who are planning on spending that money? Ethics??.. anybody? Anyhow after a few email exchanges and a total waste of time it turns out that yes, we do have the money that we thought we did. Oh goodie!!

2. Students who email me their crap and expect me to print it out for them because their friend's car broke down on the way to school to turn in the paper and they couldn't get here. Nor could they bring an extra copy to the next class! Plus my printer has run out of paper and the printer in the Art department office is not networked so I need to email everything that i want to print to the office manager. Ugh.

3. Out of all of the people working at Cream today why did I have to get the new guy? My latte turned into an Iced Mocha and then I had to feel bad for rejecting a drink that I did not order but was given to me and in turn cause the new guy much unneeded grief. I have a serious guilt complex, I know. After all, it wasn't I who made the mistake.

4. Journal. I have uploaded pictures to our webfiles that VM insists that she "cannot see." Of course I see them perfectly fine and well with both my eyes. I even download them to test and make sure that they are really there. After trying to email her the pics, and uploading them again. This morning a miracle happened and she was able to "see."

5. I'm just annoyed because I'm enjoying this feeling of being annoyed. And in a weird demented kind of way I think I would rather be annoyed and bitching to this blog than grading the last four papers I have on my desk. I stupidly ordered all the papers from Best to Worst (roughly, obviously its not a perfect science). And now I'm stuck with the four "worst" papers. Grading A papers is a pleasure. Grading C papers is a chore and makes you want to pull your hair out. You know what my desk will look like when the janitor comes in tonight. I hope he bring a broom. And I'm not being sexist because I actually know it is a "he" his name is Jose and he is very nice.

Saturday Morning

2007-10-13T10:44:00.000-07:00

It's Saturday morning, I'm in my favorite spot in the house. Lying on the couch covered in the afghan that my grandmother crocheted for me, laptop on my belly, head propped up by two pillows, cup of coffee on the stool to my right, I'm not sure that there is any place else I'd rather be. It rained this morning and outside it is still cloudy and wet but the birds have started chirping again.

Yesterday I meditated for 3 minutes. I know that doesn't sound like a long time, but it changed my day dramatically. Trying to allow for your mind and body to just "be" is a challenging task. After the short meditation I realized how wound up I am nearly all of the time. Even when I think that I'm resting my mind is active— planning, worrying, brainstorming. In a way, I have become really good at "multi-tasking." No matter where I am during the day, I'm working. I have 10 minutes of downtime waiting for the oil to be changed on my car, I pull out papers to grade. I am eating lunch at a sandwich shop, I pull out that Jean-Luc Nancy text that I am struggling to get through. After writing a couple of paragraphs on the diss at Cream, I get up need to move, pack up my stuff and walk to the car thinking about what comes next.

Lately, the things I do to turn my brain off are not entirely relaxing or beneficial. I do a crossword, I play a solitaire game, I turn on the TV. All of these things still require that my brain be active even if my body is not. The trick is, it seems, is to get both your mind and your body to quiet down for a short time everyday. I'm working on ways to do this. Meditation may work for me. I am going to give it my best try. Though I'm open to other suggestions.

Google, the answer to my prayers

2007-10-08T23:01:00.001-07:00

All the nerves that I had last week, the week before, and the week before that are suddenly gone. Whoosh! That's it... I feel light as a bird. I'm busier than ever but waiting for the Fellowship news had taken it's toll on my state of being. Must make mental note: "In future, learn how to deal."

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On a completely different topic— I am ready to admit that I have a little site meter that analyzes the traffic to my blog. It's only fair right? You get to read my thoughts and ponderings - shouldn't I get to know something about you? Granted, I don't learn very much. Besides the various countries that you come from, the pages you visit, and the kind of browser that you use, I don't know much else. I thinks its fair to say that you know a hell a lot more about me than I do about you. That's OK. I'm cool with that. It's sort of like my relationship with my students - I know what they look like, I might recognize their handwriting, and of course know their names... but who are they really? They come into class, they hear me talk about art I love, I tell them my views about things, my concerns, the things that I'm passionate about - I share all of this stuff with them. And I get a little bit back, this is true - but I also get a whole lot of mystery. I actually really want to know more about them - where do they come from? What are the things that they think about? What are they concerned about? What are their passions?

So I digress. I really wanted to share with all of you some of the more humorous things that I learn from the site meter about some of the visitors to my site (probably those who come and don't exactly find what they are looking for). Here are a few Google searches that have led folks to this blog (no joke):

1. japanese porn in the class
2. japanese superhero porn
3. burnout academics
4. sorority skits

Unfortunately because I utilize the site meter for free they only log the last 100 visitors, but I've seen everything from: "Graduate student losing mind" to "found my first gray hair."

What I have come to conclude from my observations from my Google spying is that I think people use Google to search for answers that they know they can't possibly answer easily but seek an easy fix: "Is grad school for me?" "Am I dumber than I think I am?" "Should I leave him?"

Sigh.

If only Google truly had the answer to all of our unanswered questions ....

Perhaps we could start to call it God-gle.

[ABD] A Better Day

2007-10-05T11:16:00.000-07:00

My pulse is currently at 72. Yes I am a nut case, my husband often threatens to take me to the "loony bin," however I have good reason. I am in a very confusing situation - being ABD you are student, adjunct, and scholar (with a question mark). You never really know if you will be able to make it out of the pits of adjuncting, which is pretty much slave labor (no one can honestly live on these wages). So every now and then when there is reason to believe that there is an end to this academic purgatory it feels really good.

Today I was finally notified by the Foundation that I won the 2007 TMC Award - this is a $10,000 grant. That is a lot of money for someone like me. And it really helps to inspire me to move forward with my project. I want to make my advisors proud, I want to make my program proud, I want to make my family proud, etc.

My committee chair emailed me this really nice congrats:

A very big congratulations on your receipt of this grant.It is a recognition of your hard work and the high expectations that others have of you.

So if suffices to say that I am feeling very good right now. Now its' time to get to work!

Nerves

2007-10-04T16:26:00.000-07:00

It is 4:26 pm (6:26 pm in Chicago) on the day of the meeting of the Board of Trustees (in Chicago). I was supposed to be emailed right after the meeting. Perhaps they meant to say one day after the meeting? Maybe they have mixed understandings of the meaning of right after. I am going a bit insane here, and in all honesty I am a bit embarrassed by it. My email keeps doing this thing where it says "To many users logged in try again in 5 minutes." Aargh!! Then I try to do these breathing exercises to get me relaxed.

You have to understand I am one of those people who could be feeling totally nervous, excited, and anxious on the inside, but on the outside I appear totally calm and collected. I know that this is a blessing because I am of course often in situations where I should be nervous but don't want to appear nervous (teaching for one, nerve wrecking grad seminars where everyone tries to pretend that they are so smart because they are reading Hegel in the original German.) Okay I digress, but you get my point. The downside to this is that most people don't realize that I'm freaking out inside almost all of the time!!

Anyway- to switch topics. I had a student who had one of those horrible excuses for needing an extension on her paper— like her grandmother died, her best friend was in a car accident kind of thing. A car drove right into her bedroom on Tuesday morning! But this time it was true. I got an email from the Chair and everything. Apparently an 85 year old man had a seizure while driving and lost control of his car, went right into her bedroom! Luckily she is OK and he is OK too. And I happily gave her an extension on her paper.

By the way - I checked my pulse earlier and it was at 96 -- that's kinda fast isn't it?

Confronting Race in an All-White Classroom

2007-10-03T18:32:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling really guilty because all I want to do in class today is show a video and give out a writing assignment. I'm not feeling very inspired this week, and I feel like I could use the mental break. The truth is that I am waiting to hear form The Foundation today and I don't really want to be concerned with planning the perfect class session. The truth also is that even though showing a video is a slight cop-out as far as lesson planning goes I will still make it worthwhile. I am going to show the film Crash which was really popular a couple of years ago (won Best Picture I think). I would like to use it to initiate a conversation about race and geography in Los Angeles. How is race represented in the film? How is it dealt with as a social topic? What is the message of the film? And how do films in general help us to either confront or not confront race?

The truth is that I really abhor this film. I think it simplifies the issue of racism, and provides a ridiculously simplistic solution to racial confrontations. It suggests that if we were all "color blind" we could all just get along and be happy. It makes no suggestion or reference to the way that racism, particularly in Los Angeles has been institutionally supported for years. How about the housing covenants that prevented "minority" families from moving into exclusively white neighborhoods? How about the systematic criminalization of black male youths from the "ghetto"? There is a history to racism and spatial segregation and a film that attempts to deal with issues of race might the least bit address this?

Anyhow the film is a great start to a discussion about representations of racial conflict. I'm hoping that the students will find similar problems with the film, but I'm doubtful. As long as it opens us up to dialogue then I think it serves its purpose as an educational tool, and not merely a strategy to "waste time."

Put a little change in my cup

2007-10-01T17:42:00.001-07:00

SF pointed me in the direction of this "Post a Secret." I have certainly been feeling this way the past week or so (well, at least the 'in over my head part'). The quarter is off to quick start and I haven't quite gotten used to the pace. Those slow summer days are looking awfully good right now. My email inbox is about to explode. I literally do not have the time to read everything. Most of it is Journal business since we are starting production on Vol. 3, and it will be going to press in November we have lots to do. Contributors and editors have been sending me all their final materials, I then organize them all and send them to NB to be copy-edited, then they come back and I distribute them to the production crew with Quark templates. It is a lot of organization and communication and with my inbox overflowing I'm just hoping that I don't miss anything important that comes in. Plus I will, at some point read all of the text myself to make sure that there aren't any glaring concerns.

I just found out today that due to my current "in limbo" status (not with Fellowship, not with Leave of Absence), I have been dropped from the school health insurance. However, although it sounds scary, once everything is resolved the insurance should be put into place retroactively. So I should be seeing the $100 I spent on prescriptions on Friday again.

The Foundation will notify me about the award results on Thursday. My heart picks up a little just thinking about it. Please think positive thoughts for me!

Tomorrow in class we are reading about political activism in Los Angeles. I don't have a clue what to teach yet. Though we are reading an excellent text by Laura Pulido, and I will try to pick up some ideas there. I'm thinking of bringing in the Los Angeles School (cinema).

Luckily, although it feels like it is near, I am not yet on the street with a cup in my hand. Let's hope that this Fellowship fills up that cup for me, and for the full year!

Some changes in LA

2007-09-24T11:26:00.001-07:00

It was Park (ing) Day in Los Angeles on Friday. Activists put quarters in parking meters to legitimately pay for the space and then lay down turf, potted plants, and chairs to build impromptu parks. Read the LA Times article here.

How wonderful to see people taking control of their own built environment. After all, we may not have the power as citizens to raze a city block and turn it into a park - but we sure can send a message with these organized acts of protest. It's a welcome sight to see that in a city that has a reputation as a city of car-lovers, residents are beginning to aspire for other means of sustainable transportation. And when I say sustainable I mean both physically and mentally. Creating more green - pedestrian friendly spaces in Los Angeles will not only improve the air quality and reduce green house gases, but it will also provide a saner environment to live in. Traffic is so bad in LA, and has been for at least 30 years, that I wouldn't be surprised to find out that there are serious psychological affects on the population. And lest we want to see a situation ala Michael Douglas in Falling Down, we should, in my opinion, take these activists seriously.

Los Angeles also experienced something else unusual this weekend. It rained! Angelenos seemed thoroughly pleased and altogether happy at the sight of this odd wet stuff falling from the sky. While the windshield wipers squeaked annoyingly from non-use, my sister and I watched in giddy pleasure as otherwise strangers bonded together at the sight of a rainbow on Saturday. It appeared to be a temporary mood enhancer as normally cranky drivers let pedestrians pass while everyone stopped in awe to admire nature's beauty.

Experiments in Collaborative Design

2007-09-21T16:20:00.001-07:00

Woo hoo!!
Chapter draft is officially done. It is, I admit, an obvious draft but as we speak I am on my way to Kinkos to photocopy it x 3 for each of my lovely advisers (I may as well see them as lovely now, before they give me comments back). The Chapter title as you may have guessed is "Experiments in Collaborative Design" it is a little risky I think and I'm not sure if I'm going to stick with it. Halprin did not like to think of his work as "group design," but I do and since I am the dissertator I can call it whatever I so feel.

Okay, I admit I'm not "on my way to Kinkos" as we speak. Rather, I am sitting in a cafe called Twigs in University Heights - just finished drinking a perfectly lovely fizzy juice drink and tweaking the end of the chapter. Yes, "the end" "il fin" "la fine" ... etcetera, etcetera.
But I do need to skedaddle off to print and copy, envelope and mail before Shabbat dinner... not much time now.

Gotta run!

Some numbers...

2007-09-19T13:06:00.000-07:00

Number of...

... cold medicine pills taken today - 6
... blogposts written - 2
... blogposts read - 4
... crossword puzzles completed ... 1
... words written ... 800+
... times pressed 'check mail' button on email - too many to count, possibly 20+
... Britney Spears articles read - 1
... coffees ingested - 1
... human beings spoken to - 2 (one via telephone, the other one served me my coffee)
... methods of procrastination - all of the above except for #5

Academic Journals

2007-09-19T10:25:00.000-07:00

There are so many journals out there that I am drawn to. But who has the time to read them all? I really wish that I did. And in a way, I feel like I should somehow be reading them even if I don't have the time. I currently subscribe to Grey Room and JSAH (The Journal of the Society of Architectural Historians). But in addition to these great journals there are of course more: October, Art Journal, The Journal of Aesthetics and Protest, Invisible Culture, Journal of Visual Culture, Log. And I am sure there are plenty others that are still unknown to me. I think what I need to do is eliminate my "fun" bedtime reading and replace it with a journal. If I read one article every night then I could in theory get this reading done. Maybe it will even help me sleep better!

The great thing about journal reading is that it is really the most up-to-date work in the field. Second to, I guess, attending conferences which is not always possible. It is nice to keep up with the work of your heroes.. I mean mentors.. I mean the superstar academics who seem to be on Ritalin and produce so much writing that they likely never sleep or f$#! for that matter.

Though, as I myself aspire to be published in a respectable journal one day (hopefully sooner rather than later), it is also good to read the type of material that is readily published in the field. This is especially important as my own academic writing needs to transform from "grad student" style to that of a "scholar."

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P.S. Still no word from Foundation on said Fellowship. Still hoping...

Wrapping this up.

2007-09-17T13:36:00.000-07:00

I am very close to having a draft of my first chapter completed. I swear. I know that I have said this before but now I really mean it. Yes, it is only a draft, and yes I am scared *&^$less that my advisors will hate it, but all that means nothing to me right now. Now I am in the drive to nicely tie it all together in a concluding section.

This is my idea - for those of you interested:

In June of 1960 Lawrence Halprin gave a speech for the International Federation of Landscape Architects in Amsterdam. The title of his speech was, "The Role of the 20th Century Landscape Architect."
In 1961 Walter Gropius gave an address at Columbia University titled, "The Role of the Architect in Modern Society."
Given only a year apart, these two speeches seem to compliment each other in their goals to reevaluate not only the method in which the architect works in modern society, but also the way in which the architect contributes to society as a whole. You may not know this but Walter Gropius was one of Halprin's mentors at the Harvard Graduate School of Design (you would of course know this had you read the entire chapter).

In this chapter I am looking at the move toward collaborative design in a postwar United States.

Gropius is perhaps responsible for providing an alternative to standard architecture practice, but Halprin picks up where he left off and develops a full-fledged method and philosophy of collaborative design.

In a nutshell that is the last section that I need to write (a nice reflection on the two speeches). Then I will begin work on my next chapter (no rest for me). I will be researching theories of community.
After all having a philosophy of collaborative design is nice, but who gets to participate in it all?

*by the way - I still have not heard anything from the fellowship that I am a finalist for. As each day passes I am getting more nervous about it. Think good thoughts for me...

I see Autumn around the corner...

2007-09-14T13:51:00.000-07:00

Despite the majority of opinions that state the opposite I am convinced that there are seasons in southern California. Maybe you need to have lived here for 20+ years in order to have developed the sensitivity to recognize them. No doubt they are subtle, but when you come to know them these subtle changes in the environment are a welcome confirmation to the cyclical order of the world. Often times in the midst of a confrontation with 90 degree weather it is hard to imagine that come a month or two relief will come in the form of Autumn.

So what is Autumn like in southern California, you ask? You know that it is coming because the light that comes through your window in the late morning and early afternoon has a different color. It becomes softer, more golden, and not over saturated. In addition, the shadows that lay across the kitchen table stretch in length. The air slowly starts to feel crisper - like it is coming from the mountains instead of over the ocean. Instead of the tropical, slightly humid feel to summer air, autumn air is dry and brings chapped lips and dry hands - which cry out for lubrication.

This all goes to say that though some may deny it, I feel Autumn coming to southern California, and I welcome it with open arms. I'm ready to pull out my sweaters again and to make the switch back to warm lattes instead of iced ones.

A spoonful of neurosis helps the medicine go down

2007-09-10T23:18:00.000-07:00

Crazy Husband decided to go to bed at 9:30 this evening. Usually I try to go to sleep the same time as he does so that we are on the same schedule. I have to say I gave it my best effort. I lay there in the dark, after watching 45 minutes of a PBS special on the history of Coronado Island, mind fully awake, eyes open, and not . . . sleeping! I finally decided to get up and put all this mental activity to some use — go write a blog post. If he wants to go to sleep at 9:30 that is fine by me, but I cannot be expected to participate in this incomprehensible behavior!

So here is a list of the crazy things going through my head while trying to sleep:

Last week I was notified by a fellowship that I applied to that I am a finalist and that they would inform me of their decision after Sept. 10. What does this mean? Will I know tomorrow? The next day? Sometime this week? As soon as the clock strikes 12 on Sept. 11 will I be notified? I have been seriously trying to send some good mental vibes in that direction (wherever they are) so that they will choose me. In bed, as I was laying there trying to sleep, I began to visualize the selection committee sitting around a table looking at my file, with other files open, and seeing them say, with my application in hand, "Yes, this is the one!" I remembered then that Oprah had said something about accepting a "gift" and if you do that then you will get whatever you want, so I thought, "Yes, I will accept the gift." I scrunched my brow and tried really hard to concentrate on this and then I had another thought, "Is scrunching your brow really necessary in order to think harder?" Hmmm....
I've also been completely and totally obsessed with this trainwreck called Britney Spears. I can't help it - I swear I have never behaved like this before. I have watched the video of her performance (twice) and read almost every review written about it online. So in bed I think about Britney's future - will she make her comeback ... ever? How will the drama continue? What will happen next?
I then lay in bed thinking about my second day of class tomorrow. We are discussing Mission Revival and Spanish Colonial Revival architecture - which buildings should I focus on? How many? How can I get the students to participate in an analysis for the first time in a gentle yet significant way? I promised them the guidelines for their first assignment tomorrow—what do I want them to write about? What would be a good essay topic? Myth... architecture... missions...??
I promised to bring meyer tzimmes (sweet carrots & raisins) for our Rosh Hashanah dinner. When is the best time to cook it - tomorrow? Wednesday morning...? Can't forget to go shopping...

Enough! Too much neurosis from this Jewish academic.

Over the First Day Hump

2007-09-07T09:41:00.000-07:00

I have always believed that when it comes to teaching the first day is of most importance. Some students will make up their decision about the entire course by the end of that first day. So you can imagine that with that amount of pressure residing in my head - I get pretty nervous about the first day of class. What kind of impression will I make? I want to come off as cool, laid back, but also communicate that I have high expectations of them. And I also want to give encouragement that - yes, it can be done - and yes, you will learn here!

You would think that I would have myself all worked up into a frenzy about this and suffer from performance anxiety. But actually, it excites me. This is the one day that I really get to pitch the class. This is the day where I get to prove that my research topics, what I have dedicated my life to studying, are exciting and worthwhile!

So yesterday I presented my pitch. I tried to get them interested, to help them feel relaxed in my classroom, in my presence. I think it went over well. I have many more art history majors and architecture minors in this class than in my last class which should help with the group dynamic right off the bat.

I think I have a good group of kids this time around. I am optimistic that this will be a great class.

One word at a time...

2007-09-04T16:09:00.001-07:00

You may have noticed that I have added to my blog a cool little device that helps track the progress on my dissertation (see right margin). Hopefully, this counter will serve as a motivation to write more in order to see the little bar grow. We will see how this experiment goes. For now, I will just keep on writing one word after another -- 8.8% done - I'm on my way!

Back to School

2007-08-30T14:10:00.001-07:00

I'm back on campus this week. And though I 've been in SD all summer long I have stayed away from campus as much as possible. But this week it has become unavoidable and necessary to return. Not too many students on campus yet, but you do see the typical parents and freshman arriving, unpacking, and getting dorm rooms setup. Aaahh, I love college life.

To my pleasant surprise there was a new sign outside my (shared) office with my name on it. It reads — "Prof. Eloise." Wow this is my first move toward having a real office! I know that I'm naively excited but please let me wallow in this short-lived bliss. This is a really nice gesture for them (the powers that be) considering I'm only an adjunct, but it definitely makes me feel more permanent and more wanted. I'll just put aside for the time being the fact that my name was spelled wrong. I have informed the office manager of this and she promised to have it changed.

So now I'm in the library putting final, and I mean FINAL, touches on my syllabus and getting the readings on reserve. Everything is going peachy and I'm looking forward to next week! First day of school!

Your Wit Will not Protect You

2007-08-29T10:40:00.000-07:00

The other day I was having a conversation with AI about the personalities of people who decide to get a PhD and the reasons behind the choice. Being part of this group I confessed that part me of me wanted to get the highest degree possible in order to feel accomplished. I admitted that, yes, part of the reason for going after the highest degree available is to satisfy my ego's drive, and I would imagine that others have decided to go after a PhD for similar reasons.

For as long as I can remember I have been on a quest for knowledge. Gathering an arsenal of information about history, movements, figures, ideologies, etc., I have always believed would set me up for future success. To be able to contextualize the present based on the what you know about the past is probably a skill that I value above all others. The more I know, the more I will succeed in this life. As I have gone through my life on this quest to learn more, to know more—I realize that others have a very different quest. This is a quest of course for material things—a desire to own more, to collect wealth, to have automobiles, and flat screen televisions.

Ultimately, both of these views are flawed because we are all tied to the same fate. That is we are temporary occupants of this planet and none of us are protected from the most certain fate of death. Armed with material goods or knowledge or both, you will not be spared.

So how can we know our success if not by the number of degrees or the number of automobiles we have? I believe that it is the legacy that we leave— those we have taught and what we have contributed to society. We should strive to leave a world that we can be proud of for future generations to inherit. So instead of counting my success on the knowledge that I collect, I will from now on measure my success by my ability to be a responsible world citizen and to actively work to create a sane and safe world that I want my children to inhabit.

Back at Cream

2007-08-23T10:56:00.000-07:00

I'm back at Cream today - this is a cafe that I've mentioned on a few occasions in this blog. I think I have been avoiding it this summer probably because it is the place that I tend to go to the most during the semester, and I wanted my own little "vacation" from real work (though I have begun to realize that we don't really get vacations in this job.)

Suffice it to say— I'm back. And not much has changed. Laptop scrutinizing folks occupy each table. Electrical cords and power surges criss cross on the floor. People come here and really set up shop. I have my laptop plugged in, but there are folks with cell phone chargers, mice, external hard drives, and the woman behind me has plugged in a printer! No joke. I nearly died when I saw it. I wonder if I can connect to it on the network and print out some stuff of my own!

Cream should really start charging more rent for office space.With a purchase of a coffee at $1.50 every weekday (which is what I see most people here consuming) that puts the current rent for office space, with no electrical bill, at $30 per person per month. Not bad!

I am in a race...

2007-08-21T17:43:00.001-07:00

I am in a race, running madly toward the finish line. I can see my destination slowly appearing around the corner. I am holding my arms up at my sides- hands out, palms flat. I am a scale. And in each hand I hold something precious that should not be dropped - these two items need to be carried through to the other side pristine and intact. But while I get a good grasp on one the other falls lower to the ground. I raise it up and try to keep them even, but the weight shifts back and forth as I push myself forward.

What are these items that I carry? On one side I hold a completed course syllabus with a prepared reader, and on the other hand I hold a completed chapter of my dissertation. Steady is the word. Eye on the finish line. No room to falter...

A Moment of Sadness

2007-08-20T10:40:00.000-07:00

Forgive me for the digression.

My aunt passed away on Thursday morning. My husband and I drove right away up to a LA for a tough weekend of mourning and condolence - as the niece of the deceased I found myself in the difficult position of being both a mourner and a consoler. Most of my own grief has been dealt with in private moments, while in the company of my uncle, parents, grandparents, and cousins I tend to withdraw from my own feelings of sadness and try my best to be there for them. The funeral was on Friday - in Jewish tradition we bury the dead as quickly as possible so the healing process can begin. My aunt Rema is the closest person to me to ever pass, and I have never felt so close to the heaviness and sadness that comes with the loss of a loved one. Dealing with a loss has pulled me away from the day-to-day routine of my life. It has brought me to contemplate both the fragility of life and its temporality.

Another Jewish tradition surrounding death is that we physically bury the dead ourselves. All of the family, and others who choose, shovel the dirt into the grave. I suppose that this is to help us feel the cycle of life as we return to the earth -- as do all living things that pass -- and remind us that our body gets recycled to allow other things to grow.

It is not easy to return to life after being so close to death. This is one of my favorite passages about life and death from the opening of Vladamir Nabakov's autobiography, Speak, memory:

The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness. Although the two are identical twins, man, as a rule, views the prenatal abyss with more calm than the one he is heading for (at some forty-five hundred heartbeats an hour). I know, however, of a young chronophobiac who experienced something like panic when looking for the first time at homemade movies that had been taken a few weeks before his birth. He saw a world that was practically unchanged—the same house, the same people—and then realized that he did not exist there at all and that nobody mourned his absence... What particularly frightened him was the sight of a brand-new baby carriage standing there on the porch, with the smug, encroaching air of a coffin; even that was empty, as if, in the reverse course of events, his very bones had disintegrated.

Down the Rabbit Hole of Course Prep

2007-08-15T10:07:00.000-07:00

I have begun putting together my syllabus for the upcoming semester. My course is titled Art and Architecture of Los Angeles. I'm thrilled to teach the class, but as always it is difficult to decide what material to include in the course readings and what to leave out. And as I begin to do the research I end up sliding down a slippery road where I find more and more material that I want to include. I know that I can't possibly do this - students would revolt and lose interest in the course. So how do I know which readings are foundational and which are just excess?

With a topic as broad and wide-reaching as Los Angeles art and architecture it is difficult to know where to lay down the boundaries.

How does one simultaneously teach art and architecture without favoring one or the other? History is of course important to this course, how much social history should be taught? Should I lecture on this? Or let it be covered in the readings? or both?

I am trying to organize the class both chronologically and thematically. We will discuss the importance of the missions, the extended relationship between Mexico and LA, while also looking at boosterism and the counter noir movements in both film and literature (important to the social imaginary of the city), I also want to include a week on surf culture, graff art, chicano murals, suburbia, urban sprawl, freeways, Googie architecture, modernism, postmmodernism, and natural disasters, gang flicks, public art, feminist art..... it's too much isn't it?

I know that in finalizing the syllabus I will have to say goodbye to some beloved topics -- but I'll just keep them available for a future course on the topic. I think next time I'd like to design a more specific course - perhaps "LA Art in the 1960s" or "Urban Identity in Los Angeles."

So far, I have a handful of articles to include in the course reader and the course texts will be City of Quartz (Mike Davis) and Los Angeles: The Architecture or Four Ecologies (Reyner Banham). I will also assign excerpts from Carey McWilliams' Southern California: An Island on the Land, Norman Klein, The History of Forgetting: Los Angeles and the Erasure of Memory, and Cecile Whiting, Pop L.A.: Art and the City in the 1960s. I'm still looking for a good article on surf culture..though I have found an excellent text on LA graff art.

I am open to any recommendations, and I would love some input. Hopefully I'll be able to climb out of this rabbit hole soon.

Weekend Synopsis

2007-08-14T11:10:00.000-07:00

We went on a long weekend with husband's family. Some of the highlights/lessons learned are as follows:

1. Don't try to carry a smoked salmon in pocket through airport security and onto the airplane while shouting, "Where's the fish?" every hour or so throughout the trip.

2. No matter how far into nature you go, no matter how far you run in order to "get away from it all," these three things seem to be inescapable: cell phones and the discussion of "how many bars you have," wireless internet for a fee, and SUVs ruining your view. Where we were situated, in a beach house on the coast of Oregon, trucks and SUVs could roam freely on the beach. In addition, even if cell phones or connectivity does not stress you out, don't assume that on your present company. When someone's cell phone becomes more important than what is happening in the present space, the idea of spending time together seems incongruous. I think cell phones have allowed our culture more room for rudeness and god knows we don't need any more of that.

3. A small ruckus ensued over a heated Scrabble game. When proper nouns become integrated seamlessly into society as a word of their own - when can we demote them to a common noun? There was a controversy over the inclusion of the word "eden." I think I would like to write an entire paper on the topic. And yes I still hold firmly onto my belief that, Utopia is to utopia as Eden is to eden. And when did the Scrabble dictionary become the expert on the English language?

see here
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/eden

and here for verification
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/utopia

4. Flying a kite is NOT easy. How Benjamin Franklin ever did it during a thunderstorm is beyond me.

5. You know you like who you are with when all of a sudden you realize it is 1:45 am and you are still not tired.

I’ll have an Iced Nonfat Latte…again!!

2007-08-09T11:38:00.000-07:00

There must be something in the Starbucks employee manual about being “friendly” to customers. I wouldn’t know I never worked there, although I am extremely curious to find out what this part of the training entails. At our corner Starbucks, where I frequent regularly (though I really do so only to take advantage of their air conditioning on hot days), I often find myself having déjà vu conversations with the baristas. That might be putting it nicely, what I really mean is that we literally have the same conversation over and over again! I have concluded that this is because they are following their management instructions to be “friendly.” Their sense of humanity doesn’t have anything to do with it – are they really interested in “Where I am going?” or “What I do for living?” I don’t think so. If they were genuinely interested in having a polite conversation with me I think that they would remember that we’ve been through the same dance together loads of times and that I’ve already told them my name, my first pet’s name, where I work, and even the whole confusing part of my job about being a “student” and a “teacher” at the same time. Not to mention that I order the same drink every single time— maybe that should be what they are paying attention to?

I have never worked in Starbucks but I have worked as a barista and I know that remembering the specific drink orders of Regulars makes you a quickly beloved part of their everyday life. I don’t think that they wanted me to be a great conversationalist and they certainly didn’t want another therapist, although being polite was a plus. They really just wanted me to make them a damn good coffee! And that is something that I always complied with.

Maybe I’m just cynical, but something about programmed friendliness just rubs me the wrong way.

Follow UP

2007-08-08T12:44:00.001-07:00

I received a response to my letter to FMS and SS yesterday. I was a bit concerned about what I had done with sending the letter. It most certainly was not something I would have done without all of the stress from my aunt’s brain cancer building up around me. The letter was a risk, and under normal circumstances I probably would not have sent it. It is for precisely that reason that I was the most concerned because I knew that it was sent against my better judgment. But you know, sometimes I think it is important to act out of character. Who knows? Maybe some great achievements are even made that way. I should probably take more risks in my life.

I was happy to know that the department and summer sessions took my letter and concerns seriously and decided to reevaluate the process by which instructors are informed of cancellations. Not only did I receive a letter from the departmental manager, but also from one of the professors thanking me for alerting them to my concerns. They were in fact, unaware that my students had been notified before myself of the course cancellation. I am happy that the issue is resolved, and I feel good that I was able to speak my mind with good results. I did not want to make excuses for myself, but I did in the end confide in VD that in most likelihood I was a little bit more frustrated than I normally would have been because of the situation with my aunt.

Thanks RYS

2007-08-06T10:06:00.000-07:00

Whoosh, I encountered a bit of unfamiliar fame yesterday when my blog was listed on Rate Your Students as a blog that "readers love." I had more hits to the site in one day than I have had in the total life of the blog.

My first reaction was immediate paranoia - I suddenly felt so exposed. I had never thought about having a real readership. For me, Academic Wasteland is an exercise to keep my creative juices flowing and to have a place where I can sort through my research and teaching ideas. I never thought that someone else might actually want to read it too. Lately I have been very open and honest here (read this and then this to catch up) I have openly said what I feel about academic life without really thinking about possible repercussions should my identity be discovered. It is this openness and honesty that I think might actually make readers interested in what I might have to say (much in the same way RYS functions). But of course there is always the question of how safe your anonymity is on the web and how much information is appropriate to disclose.

There is no question that the traffic to the site will probably taper off after a couple of days, but I do hope that some folks stick around. Despite the attention that a little bit of internet fame has brought- I expect that things at Academic W will mostly stay the same. I'm still new to teaching, working through the dissertation and dealing with a lot of unknowns in the academic world.

So, if you are new to my blog and want some good reads - let me recommend a few.
On teaching try my post on Generation ME or this one on student Apathy.

If you are interested in some of my research on architecture and Lawrence Halprin you might like this, this or this.

I also often review public spaces, particularly places to write - this might only be of interested to you if you are in SoCal. But if you ever spend your time working in cafes then no doubt you will probably relate to some of my observations. The Shark Tank was a particularly popular post.

Okay, enough blatant self-promotion! Stay, have a look and maybe we'll run into each other again sometime!

A Working Proletariat at the Bourgeois Pig

2007-08-03T13:56:00.000-07:00

Today, tired of working in Studio City with all of the pretentious industry folk, I decided to head into Hollywood for a more down to earth experience. When I was in High School my good friend JH took me to a place called the Bourgeois Pig. JH was not my parents’ favorite friend of mine. He was two years older than me (this is a lot in high school remember) he drove (and I did not yet –only 15), and god knows what other imaginings my parents had about him (cigarettes, drugs – both of which were true though mild), in sum he was not nice Jewish Boy material and posed a threat to the brainwashing (I mean parenting) of the their teenage daughter – who of course was heading to college, would stay straight as an arrow, and would marry a nice Jewish Boy. Ok. So back to the Bourgeois Pig – a dark coffee house in Hollywood, with garage sale style furniture and deep velvet couches – definitely “goth,” definitely invoking the scene of a smoke-filled Parisian café where brooding Bohemians debate existentialism and the "poetry" of The Cure.

Well today I decided to revisit the Bourgeois Pig – 10 yrs later – I was happy to know that it was still there, and still looking the same. Now of course you have the addition of laptop owners scrutinizing over their unfinished screenplays (apparently a tribe inescapable in the Greater Los Angeles Area). As I pull up a seat at a comfortable dining room-style table, I pull up my work. A disco ball is presenting a light show on the table and wall next to me, it is not “quiet” here, but it has good energy – real good, it makes me feel like a teenager again – just a more responsible one – with a career, a job, and goals. About 5 minutes after I sit, the music turns from Duran Duran to Garbage. Now, this is an uncanny moment for me, because I’m sitting there remembering JH, I’m reliving the freedom I felt those nights in HS when parents and other authorities did not know where I was exactly (we did not all have cell-phones in those days—poor teenagers nowadays have this leash with them). So, I am really happy here – and I know every song as they play the entire album. I am remembering the first moment that JH played “Vow” for me outside the “Eagle” (another old coffee shop haunt) in his beige Ford Bronco. This car was all but falling apart except for its stereo which was kept in perfect condition – I watched the orange glow of the equalizer as it bounced up and down with the electric guitar opening of the song. I was immediately hooked. This music was angry and liberating. I loved it.

**Just an update on JH – we have been in touch lately. After selling his half of a microchip company that he became partner of by working his way up right after high school (he went to junior college for a bit but never finished), he decided to finally finish his college degree. He enrolled at UC Irvine in Criminology. He is financially set from the sale of the company – and is now slowly moving into law. He is one of my favorite people in the world, one of the most influential on my life and I’m thankful for my friendship with him in high school and after. Sometimes teenagers have a better sense of character than their parents who are so full of “Dateline NBC” fear that they cannot think rationally.

Okay so now Britney Spears’ “Oops I Did it again” just came on and snapped me back to the present. Enough reminiscing ... my 29 year old obligations are calling me to reality.

My Letter to FMS and Summer Sessions

2007-08-02T13:08:00.000-07:00

Dear VD,
Since we spoke yesterday morning, I still have not received any word from TR about the cancellation. I know that the class has been canceled only because I spoke to you about it (because I phoned), and besides what you have told me I do not know anything about the rescinding of my contract or other details. I think it is inappropriate that TR has not contacted me personally via email or by telephone. I have had students email me in disappointment (which means that they have been notified), but I, the instructor of the course, have not been contacted about this matter. Considering the time and effort that I have put in to preparing for this class, for which it is likely I will in no way be compensated, I think it is extremely inconsiderate that he has not contacted me to explain what happens next, or to even apologize for the unfortunate circumstances.

I apologize for the tone of this letter, but I felt it necessary to share with you my dissatisfaction with the way the matter has been handled. When a person agrees to a job position, it means that any other job opportunities that come up during that time period are passed up on. Now more than a month into the summer, I am left with no time to find new work or compensation. In the future I recommend that another method should be explored in regards to dealing with this issue of enrollment and the profitability of summer classes. I am surprised that anybody would volunteer to teach a summer class with this kind of system. Normally, I would have kept these feelings to myself as I understand that a canceled class is just "the way it goes," but feeling as I have been treated with little respect here I felt it important to speak up.

The administration needs to seriously reconsider how it treats its instructors. I have been quite turned off by this entire process and will likely never volunteer to teach summer session at UC Irvine again, and when other graduate students ask me for my advice about summer teaching I will not hesitate to tell them about my experience.

Please feel free to pass this letter along to anyone who you think should read it, and please know that my frustration is in no way directed at you, you have only been helpful throughout these past few weeks.

Sincerely,

My next class: Japanese Porn

2007-08-01T12:38:00.000-07:00

I have not written for about a week or so and the reason is twofold.

First off, I have been writing extremely well and have been selfishly (or wisely) directing all of my inspiration for the keyboard toward my dissertation. I am hoping to have my first chapter (still untitled) to be completed by the end of the week. As soon as I finish the draft, and assign a title I will be sure to post it here. I am very excited by this progress.

The second reason reflects less well on my character. And that is that I have encountered a series of setbacks which have thrown me into another period of low(ish) self-esteem and I have not been really ready to confront it here on the blog. For the last two weeks or so I have been corresponding back and forth with Film and Media Studies office in Irvine trying to convince them not to cancel my class which is scheduled for next week. A couple of weeks ago I received an email that threatened to cancel my class due to low enrollment. There are 8 students enrolled and apparently the course will not be profitable for the university if they don't have 12 students or more. I have been sending announcements and even asked the currently enrolled students to do their best to enroll their friends and colleagues in the course. No luck. And as of this morning, the class was officially canceled. I have received emails of disappointment from students and still have not received an official notification of the cancellation.

Now to put this in perspective, this means that my summer pay is gone out the window. Now let me put this in another perspective: this means that there is $3200 that I will not be receiving on Aug. 31 as planned. Not to mention the syllabus I have spent time developing, the readings that I have organized, and of course the time spent publicizing the course.

I have no idea what is behind the low enrollment. My course description was admired by a number of full-time professors, and up until two weeks ago everyone kept telling me that I was worrying for no reason when my numbers were low. Deep down I have to admit that it is kind of hard to compete with American Superhero Film and Japanese Horror Film both classes being taught the same time as mine. Maybe I should just offer a course on porn so that I can make sure that I get paid. It is too bad that academia has become a marketplace.

I'll tell you one thing. This is the last time I will ever offer to teach a summer course at UC Irvine.

Study Space Reviewed: Krakatoa, San Diego

2007-07-23T11:33:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in Krakatoa, San Diego. This is a really cute cafe that serves coffee, sandwiches, and desserts. It is in Golden Hill and is a converted house (seems like some of the best coffee places are designed from old homes). The interior space is painted a cool red and offers about 5 nice size tables with comfortable chairs. the chair seat height to tabletop height ratio is perfect for working on a laptop or reading and taking notes. An overhead ceiling fan provides the perfect breeze on those 75+ degree summer days. The place is not overly air conditioned like most Starbucks are and because the windows and doors are kept open even when you sit inside you feel like you are almost outdoors. If you prefer to sit outside this is actually where most of the seating is. There is a large wooden deck comfortably shaded by red umbrellas and two large mature trees. The one downside to sitting outside is probably the pesky birds who will snatch your food if you leave it unattended for a moment.

As far as research conveniences go, the plug in situation is acceptable with one power surge in the corner. The internet is wireless and free! And of course, the best thing to keep you open-eyed and focused for the duration of your stay- my favorite Illy coffee!

Image from YELP

I'm a Writing God

2007-07-19T14:27:00.001-07:00

odds and ends

2007-07-16T22:24:00.000-07:00

Phew. So today I trudged through Kant's aesthetics and made it out to the other side. For now, the first draft of Kant and Plato are behind me,and I am starting to move into more familiar territory --(the 20th century!). Tomorrow I tackle the Machine in the Studio and hopefully get to the Image of the Architect and a more thorough discussion of Frank Lloyd Wright - the all-American architect.

...still in LA. Made dinner for the folks tonight, and finally found a great workspace in the dining room. Family is hanging in the there, but more tough times lay ahead. Planning for my summer class which starts Aug. 7 is also coming along. I decided not to do anything tricky - I don't have the time or energy to teach a lot of new material. I will keep it to what I know. I'm working off of a syllabus from my class last Fall. Since it is a summer class I do need to make some adjustments, mainly cut the reading to what is doable in a 5 week period.

another digression...

2007-07-12T17:44:00.000-07:00

what a totally depressing day. i hate to be a downer, but it's true and totally unavoidable. i started off motivated in a coffee shop, but then when the barista lectured me about not telling them that i had wanted a nonfat latte my spirit just got crushed. i swear i had asked for a nonfat latte and after taking a couple sips of what they gave me i realized it was whole milk. i asked them to please change it - and when the barista delivered the new one to my table i got scolded!! There were 3 people total in the whole place, they weren't busy -- so I'm not sure what the attitude was all about. In my opinion a customer should get what they ask for and if they accidentally messed up - oh well, the customer is always right -- right?

so then after finishing my coffee i immediately left. i had planned on spending a few hours there and possibly getting lunch too - but I wasn't about to spend more money in that place (Lulu's Beehive in Studio City)! so i went home -- tried to work, got very little done, and then began searching online information about brain cancer. this is what my aunt has right now and yesterday i had a very strange visit with her -- she is definitely changing and I just wanted to get informed about what was going on with her. so i read some stuff online - got myself even more depressed and then looked at old family pictures.

i called my sis and asked her to come over after work. i'm waiting for mom, dad and sis to arrive. hopefully that will cheer me up. tomorrow my friend EW is coming over to work/hangout/swim. that will be fun.

Kant and the Artist-Genius

2007-07-12T10:28:00.000-07:00

I know, I lied. I said that I would post twice yesterday and failed. Things came up and I apologize for the tease. Let me update you on my progress with my research.

Thankfully, Plato is now temporarily in the past. I have finished that section of the diss and am now onto the part of my argument that deals with Kant and his concept of the artist-genius. Now, Kant's concept of the artist-genius in not terribly complicated. But I figure that it really important that I can at least place this idea within his larger thoughts about metaphysics and reason - since this is also one of his main accomplishments. So this gets a lot more complicated. In essence, since my paper is not about Kant I must simplify some very complex ideas. Specifically, of interest to me is Kant's re-forming of the idea of a priori concepts. That is, truths that we know about the world that is outside of our experience. He tries to figures out what about the world we can know about the a priori world through our cognitive powers alone.

Kant is confronting his own teachers in the rationalistic metaphysical tradition when he argues that perhaps assuming that cognitive reasoning is capable of metaphysics is dogmatic. He argues that there are things that we know about the world that are not analytic and cannot be derived from reason. How can one explain this?He argues that we seem to have knowledge of relations in the world based on something else besides reason, this he attributes to intuition-- particularly, this is true with our understanding of space and time. He calls this mental process synthetic judgments, and even though we believe these synthetic a priori judgments to be true we have to realize that they don't tell us anything about the world in itself but rather about the world as appearance.

Ok- let me sort through the rest and I promise a connection will be made between the artist-genius and Kant's metaphysics.

My Civic Duty

2007-07-11T09:37:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I have not posted for quite a few days. This past weekend was very busy and then I had to report to jury duty on Monday. I had never done jury duty before and I have to say that it was quite an educational experience.

I was put on a jury for a trial that could have potentially lasted three weeks. And while part of me really did want to be a juror the other part of me knew that I could really not afford to spare three weeks of life - but who can really? For most of the day I was Juror #6. The case (though I can't say too much) involved an important hospital in the San Diego area and a patient who was suing the hospital and a doctor for negligence. The day was dedicated to jury selection and as Juror #6 I was open to receiving a barrage of questions from the attorneys on both sides. Most of the questions were about my feelings about the jury system (do you think it works or not?), views on life in general (do you believe in karma?), and then more specific questions like have you ever had a close relative or family member who had cardiac bypass surgery?

I had to bring up my aunt being ill and my grandmother who did have cardiac bypass surgery two years ago. I was also directly asked if I felt that suing a doctor was more serious than suing a mechanic. And I said, yes, because we hold doctors to a high esteem, we expect them to care for us and our health, and you can't replace your health like you can a car.

I'm not sure what exactly it was that I said, but the defense (the attorney for the doctor) asked that I be excused. I'm thinking that she believed with all of my family's health issues that I would be more sympathetic toward the patient. So that was it, by 4'oclock I had fulfilled my civic duty and was on my way.

Because of my lack of posting lately, I promise a double post today! check back a little later... and I will return to the more interesting topics of art, architecture, writing and my research. Sorry for the digression.

My Problem with Plato

2007-07-05T10:32:00.001-07:00

I have about 100 dishes to wash sitting in the sink from last nights dinner of fettuccini and meatballs. However, I'd rather try to get to work and solve this problem that has been bothering me for a couple of days. Let me explain.

I have been aware of Plato's theory of ideal forms for many years now. Back in high school we read the allegory of the cave, and as an undergrad I read Plato's Republic for a class on the philosophy of ethics. Throughout my development as a visual studies scholar I have been exposed to the concept of Plato's aesthetics and how the artist relates to these ideal forms. The problem I am now facing is that this exposure to Plato's aesthetics has always been through secondary sources. In fact, I have never actually read any Plato with the question of the artist in mind.

As I begin to layout an argument about the image of the solitary artist in Western aesthetics I though that Plato would be the perfect place to start. However, through my own reading of these primary texts, I have come to realize that Plato's perspective on the artist is not very clear at all. In the Republic he clearly criticizes and demotes the artist as solely an "imitator" of reality. So harsh is this critique that he concludes that the artist is a danger to the public and should be banned from his ideal city. In this text (Book X) the artist is believed to be three times removed from the ideal form of things. In order to know the truth about things one must have both knowledge and an opinion of how they work. This would put the craftsman at a closer position to knowing the truth about objects than the painter.

Ok, so all of this is really important only because Plato argues that the artist does not stimulate the rational side of the brain and therefore since all things good are determined by practiced rationality the artist is inherently bad. Now if you dont' see how this is already a problem with my argument - I will explain. But first, to complicate things more, one must now move to the dialogue of the Symposium here Plato tells a story of a dinner party that Socrates attended where each attendee gives a speech on the topic of love. When it is Socrates' turn he relates love to a desire toward good and beauty. And in the topic of beauty he briefly mentions the artist and the poet. Here the artist is admired for his ability to bring one closer to good and beauty - and these qualities are regarded as being closer to knowledge and truth - the ultimate goal.

So here we have it would seem a slight contradiction of the role of the aritst. More specifically it seems, the role of the emotions and their capability to bring one toward knowledge and truth. This is how I am thinking of reconciling this dilemma. I will argue that despite the contradiction of Plato's position on the role of the artist. One thing is clear that in his metaphysics the realm of ideal forms is accessible to few (mainly the philosopher-kings). However the goal is to find pathways to reach this realm of truth and knowledge. The artist may not be heightened to the role of the artist-genius in Plato, but Plato's metaphysics lays the foundation for how future philosophers will envision the artist. In Plato's world few are able to achieve the place of the philosopher-king, but by the time we get to Kant the artist is beginning to be recognized as a genius who has some connection with ideal forms.

The Architects Collaborative: 1945-1965

2007-07-02T16:22:00.000-07:00

So it's back to work today. We spent a lovely weekend in Portland at a friend's wedding, but I have to say that I was anxious to continue my writing. It has been coming along very well these days. Last week I spent a couple of days refining my argument and laying out my plan of attack. In essence, at the moment I am dutifully explaining why I am engaging with the particular texts that I include and how they will tie in to my overall argument.

Today I am feverishly taking notes on two books that are overdue from the library. I know that I could check them out again, and I probably will, but in the meantime I need them to work through the chapter. It is of utmost importance.

The Architects Collaborative: 1945-1965

This is an architecture firm started by Walter Gropius and friends in 1945. Interestingly, Halprin was one of Gropius' students at the Harvard School of Design; however, as far as I can tell he was not involved directly with this firm. The Architects Collaborative asserts their difference from other architectural practices because the main partners and associates are considered equals and not, as is traditionally done, considered to be a group of individual specialists. The objective of the firm is collaboration and design ingenuity. It is, I think very obvious that Halprin was at last indirectly influenced by their objectives, goals and strategies of design.

The major difference is that Halprin's ideal of collective creativity is one that moves outside of the firm more broadly includes non-specialists -such as community members and city officials. Another important addition that Halprin makes to this experiment is to very carefully structure the process by which collaborative design is to take place. While this happens in TAC in some sense, it is nowhere near the kind of study and structural organization that Halprin develops with the RSVP cycles.

Shark Tank Part II

2007-06-27T09:34:00.000-07:00

I was informed recently that I have been leaving some unresolved teasers on this blog. I promised you that I would update with the results of my day at Cream (The Shark Tank), and I never did. Well it was actually an interesting story and burst my whole theory about the "shark tank" so I will finish it here.

At 11'oclock sat another potential comrade with a stack of blue books on his table. I was considering if and when I would make my move. Finally, on coincidence, we were both up at the counter ordering drinks. As we walked back to our respective tables, I asked him my opening line, "What class are you grading for?"

"Art History."
I perked up, excited.

"Oh yeah, me too."
"Oh, really?" (real genuine interest here too)
"Yeah, Caravaggio to Bernini - Italian Baroque"
"I'm grading Modern Art"
"Lucky you." ( not sarcastically, I say)

To make a long story short. We ended up chatting for about an hour. Discussing our respective programs (UCSD vs. UCI), our research, our projects (go here to see one of his current projects.) He is a PhD Candidate in Art Criticism Media and Theory at UCSD. We exchanged info and hopefully we will run into each other again.

First Line

2007-06-26T09:16:00.000-07:00

"Lawrence Halprin and Jim Burns knew what they were up against. 'A camel is a horse designed by a committee,' they note in the margins of Taking Part: A Workshop Approach to Collective Creativity."

Grad Journal Success!

2007-06-25T13:44:00.000-07:00

I just found out that we are getting another $1000 contribution for our journal the donation is coming from this center. This is wonderful because now we have some room to use the money to help us grow.

Now, I have to have focus some more of time on my personal success - I have one more fellowship to still hear from for next year. But I am busily WRITING today on my first chapter. Yes it is true - real progress is being made!! Updates soon...

Starting with an Image

2007-06-21T13:04:00.000-07:00

From left to right: Stewart Walker, Leonard Schultze, Ely Jacques Kahn, William Van Alen, Ralph Walker, D. Everett Waid, and Joseph Freedlander.

In the book Image of the Architect I found a wonderful image to work with. It is from the Beaux-Arts Ball fron 1931, here you have architects dressed up as their buildings. Like the Renaissance proverb "Ogni dipintore dipinge se'" (every painter paints himself), here the literal illustration is such that when applied to architecture - every architect builds himself. Or as another blog put it, "You are what you build."

In this case the individual architect is of course highlighted as master of his work - sole creative inventor and source of any interpretation of the final product.
In such a psychoanalytical perspective, it is easy to think of the individual ethos presenting so much authority over his creative manifestations. Though many feminists and other groups have found this to be a clear distinction of a larger (more collective?) patriarchal domination. To add to that, many feminist urbanists (Jane Jacobs, Dolores Hayden, Rosalyn Deutsche ) might argue that the this patriarchal overdrive is visibly manifested in the downtown skylines of most major cities.
Despite all of the complications that need to be fleshed out in a more thorough analysis of the photograph, it is a clear starting point toward a counterposed argument about the collective and the architectural process. Yipee!

The Shark Tank at Cream

2007-06-15T12:03:00.000-07:00

You've undoubtedly heard me mention Cream before, my neighborhood study locale of choice. I enjoy it because of its hip/comfortable/nerdy atmosphere. The folks in here are mostly in my age-range - probably grads or self-employed writers/artists. This time of year it is amazing how identities become revealed.

Being curious, and yet shy, I usually take the spy approach to try and figure out what people are working on - rather than straight out asking them. I sneak peaks at spreadsheets, read book titles upside down, and focus in on private conversations. Mostly, I am hunting for like-individuals -- comrades in the grad student pool of sharks. You know, for life-saving measures.

This week - in the final weeks of Spring quarter - all of a sudden everyone is wearing their identity in full color. Walking into Cream yesterday - a pile of blue books - UCSD blue books, dominate the table in the back corner. The unlucky owner of these exams - a short shaggy haired, spectacled, brown-t-shirt wearing individual, headphones on - has his nose in an exam. Immediately I felt a sense of comradery - I wanted to go up to him, hug him and say, "I know how you feel, I know what you are going through... good luck." But he was so absorbed in his grading (for all you undergrads out there you should know how focused we are when we grade) I did not feel comfortably upsetting his focus. I waited, waited for the right moment. I took a table next to him. Pulled out my stack of blue books hoping that this would cause him to raise an eye from his table, and began grading away. No dice.

Finally, he gets up to order a drink. On his way back to the table I see my chance to reach out. "So what course are you grading for?" I say.

"HUM 5."
Abrupt, succinct - he is ready to return. But I persist, "Oh, what's that?"
"Writing course," he says.
"Are you the TA?"
"Yeah."
"Oh," I say. "I'm grading Art History at UCI."
"Cool."
silence burns.
"Good luck," I say.
Eyes down, headphones on, he's swimming away.

Sharks, I'm telling you, sharks. You never know who you can tag up with or who is just going to eat you alive for breakfast.

With its large floor to ceiling windows which wrap around the full front side of the place - Cream looks like a fish tank. Though there are only sharks inside, each with their laptop plugged in, wearing the "I'm focusing" stare. No fooling around, no joking. I'm telling you even having the same stack of blue books as a marking won't protect you.

Today, there is one sitting at 11 o'clock. Headphones on stack of blue books - should I eat him alive? Or should I make another attempt at comradery? I'll report back ...

Architecture and the Fountainhead

2007-06-14T12:11:00.000-07:00

Last night I was reading this book given to me by GB. It is called the Image of the Architect. Since I am trying to make the connection in my dissertation between the solitary artist and the image of the architect I thought that this book would help me to make this argument. While reading a chapter on the architect as "hero" and "genius," I was introduced to the novel the Fountainhead, a book I know about but have never read.
The author of Image (whom I cannot recall at the moment) makes the argument that Ayn Rand uses the architect as the model for her theory of individualism and not by chance. That the architect, while both professional and well-integrated into society, has the capability to use creativity and genius to promote objective individualism.

I'm still looking for more resources on this subject - but this is a great start and I can do a lot with this.

My new initials

2007-06-13T16:41:00.001-07:00

Today I officially changed my name. I have new initials to get used to and a new signature to learn. Strangely, at the social security office they asked me to sign my new name. Weird. Maybe like a haircut it will start to grow on me. Even though I have officially changed my name, I will still be going by my old name professionally. So in any case - I will be somewhat of a schizophrenic perhaps, or have multiple personalities, at least multiple identities - represented semantically by my decision to live by two names.

The Usual Anxiety Dream

2007-06-07T10:03:00.000-07:00

I had an anxiety dream this morning - when I woke up I was faced with having to experience the same exact events that I had been dreaming about- though this time for real. I was hopeful that the events would not transpire as disasterously the second time around.

It was an anxiety dream about teaching and driving to school today (forgetting the right time, not having a class planned, not being prepared, overanxious students... etc). The funniest thing about the whole thing and the only reason why I mention it here is because I in my dream I was a math teacher, and arriving to the class I knew absolutely nothing about the course material. I had to "fake" it. And much of my anxiety was also due to the fact that I felt that I was extremely mis-matched to my job. I kept thinking - "who would have hired me to teach math? are they that desperate for teachers?"

I certainly know the origin of this dream. Last night I received two emails from very responsible students already preparing for their final. They had lists of artworks and wanted me to double check them. Now, Italian Baroque painting is not my forte - and have fallen behind with my studies of the course material because I had been caught up grading 70 papers. In short, the list of paintings is not something in my vocabulary - yet, and it might as well have been a complicated math problem.

Luckily, I don't have any complicated math problems to solve on the spot - I have plenty of time to prepare myself over the weekend and get up to speed. And happily, I arrived to school this morning 15 minutes early. I guess anxiety dreams have their purpose, but sometimes I wish that they would just leave me alone!